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sorryimananti-romantic · 22 days ago

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HAHA YES WELCOME BABES HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR STAY GJFHKDG

not you roasting joong and praising his leadership in one breath fdkghdffkjg

ALSO STUFF YOU FOR POINTING OUT THE SHEEPS i always make that mistake and always catch it and regret it later AHAHAHA

yes dom hongjoong taking it out on the reader in the form of some spicy stuff DID I NOT TELL YOU OOPS (surprise bbygorl)

yes hehe exploiting ppl is like the first thing you must do as an aspiring politician in this era (like how come nothing else ever works) but yes it's really not a yumi fic without some political seasoning hehe

LOOK MY THESIS WAS BORING ASF STAY AT HOME SCENE but a girl can dream right dkfjghjkdf

fr hwa can breathe and i'd be a goner so i don't blame the reader for simping like that AND YES AHAHAHA THE LICKING HIS THUMB TO WIPE YOUR WHATEVER UGH I GOT THAT PICTURE IN MY HEAD. I DIED. I WRITE. :D

yes hehehe the last line thing i got that inspo from love next door they did that with their episode names (pls watch love next door)

RIGHT LIKE HOW THE STARS ALIGNED TO MEET THE JEONG YUNHO ON A BLIND DATE I'M SAT I'M READY I DO NOW KISS THE BRIDE

yes omg i basically wrote you (keep dreaming)

omg but real i do that sometimes too with the scale and hand measuring how can i not man his hand is so big ugh i cannot

YES this is basically guerrilla 2.0 bc i literally could not be bothered to come up with anything else i'm so sorry but also it's really really fun to write him as a sunshine serial killer and YES THOSE QUOTES he's literally the sun how could i not :'))

omg thank you for appreciating yeo's moodboard :D it really is fitting right? i can imagine him in a medical setting perfectly, preferable in a darker medical setting like this one

omg thank you for appreciating the characterisation too maybe i'll make this a separate fic one day LOL but yes we stan a man who still cares, even when he's uh killing ppl (FOR THE GREATER GOOD)

i said it before i say it again, there cannot be a yeo fic without chicken mention. if that happens with my fic, that's not me. that's an impostor.

LOL NOT YOU WAITING FOR ANOTHER PLOT TWIST WHEN THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A SHORT CUTE LITTLE SCENARIO have i traumatised you

RAHHHHHH YES DADDY SAN ANY DAY AND LMAOO doing what ;) what do you think ;) (he sleeps, ofc)

YES SAN A GREEN FLAG AS A RED FLAG SO BASICALLY A... BROWN FLAG?

the woo cameos are very unintentional but he's so side character coded LOL

YES AHHAHAHA EXECUTIONER WHO THIS IS JUST THE CHOI SAN WE KNOW AND YES YOU LIKE HOW I THINK RIGHT HE REALLY IS A GREEN FLAG

hmm you're craving royal mingi fics? time to write my royal beauty and the beast au break who we don't get breaks in this household loren has wished for a royal au and her wish is my command-

AHAHAHAHA this may be the first time she gets called song's girl but you bet that's all she's gonna be called from now

LMAO YES WOOYO BEING THE SAME PIECE OF SHIT I MAKE HIM EVERY TIME AHAHAHAHA HE'S SUCH A LOVEABLE BRAT

i almost made him a pyromaniac and made reader a firefighter but i guess i can do that some other day 😔✌️

LOL AHAHAHAHA idk what's with me and writing woo e2l smutty fics it just hits every time hehehehe

MONSTER OF CAPITALISM SHOULD HAVE BEEN HIS TITLE FR AND YES ITS CEO X CEO RIVALS AU

bruh when i tell you i thought i wrote turns tables and went to double check AFTER writing the correct phrase clown energy fr

YES OMG idk what it's about jongho but he's so daddy coded and when he says terms like darling or sweetheart you bet it's gonna hit 100x harder

you really are colourblind to red babes idk AHAHAHAHAHA but yes if it's jongho *gets down on my knees* yessir

THANK YOU SO MUCH BABES NGL it was scary to write this without you validating every trope and every plot LMAO and i was worrying if this felt half-assed but it turned out okay :') BUT YES. BREAK. MUCH NEEDED MUCH DESERVED BREAK I'M FREEE

thank you so much for your support babes <33

Ateez as Villains

disclaimer: read at your own risk. do not interact if not comfortable with any tropes. reminder that this is a work of fiction and must be treated so.

warnings: absolutely no morals here, 18+ mdni, illegal acts (abduction, murder, physical abuse, stalking, trafficking, financial crimes, dirty politics, corruption), suggestive/nsfw scenes, explicit language (swearing, insults), death, violence, blood & injuries, weapons, smoking, drugs, alcohol

a/n: couldn't have done this without @eightmakesonebraincell's and @chronicvagabonds' validation lmao also tribute to tite kubo for coming up with the juiciest dialogues, some of which i quoted here

Hongjoong

The Manipulator

hongjoong always knew he had leadership skills

from being the team leader whenever he played games as a young child, to growing up and eventually influencing people

he was often told that he has a certain way of pulling people’s attention and leave something stirring inside them with his words

so it is no surprise that hongjoong is where he is today. a renowned businessman, philanthropist and… politician

hongjoong adjusts the sleeves of his shirt and glances at you from the mirror

you are standing behind him, holding his coat for him. he wears it with a proud smile and holds his chin high

“tonight is very important. for me. for this country.”

he goes on about how there will be people from all over the country

people who are the foundation of this nation. people who care about the future of this world

and if you weren’t so blinded by the adoration you have for this man you would have called him delusional

but the fact is that you are deluded by him. hongjoong has the ability to cast a spell with his words

he feeds his supporters the lie of a better world in the near future, and they bow to him

hongjoong smiles devilishly at the thought of what entails the events of tonight

he can picture it clearly- the cheers and desperate screams of his followers as he steps on the podium

the cries of these people, as helpless as sheeps in a herd, waiting for an upright politician to save this nation

he can feel the thrill just imagining what it will be like tonight when he addresses the nation as the new face of his political party

to a common person, he would just be another man with a good heart striving for a better change

but the common person is weak, and for them… he is their salvation

they will hear his words tonight- words he has carefully crafted himself. the cues will register in their minds, and they will end up seeking him to announce their undying support and loyalty, to shower in his glory

you straighten hongjoong’s coat and smooth over his shirt, your hands unsteady with anticipation

“aren’t you happy to be right next to me when i conquer the stage tonight?” he whispers, lifting your chin up

you meet his eyes and he can see his answer there

you hope he doesn’t see the conflict in your eyes. the conflict is to be concealed in your heart, in the deepest, untouchable corner of it

you are blessed, they tell you, to be the politician’s favoured

and you are- you truly are. hongjoong loves you. he adores you

in fact… he’s almost obsessed with you

and why wouldn’t he be? you were the one who led him here

you were the one who held his hand and showed him the right path- his partner, and now his secretary

oh, how you sometimes wish you could turn back the hands of the clock and go back to when hongjoong was hopeless and thought that the world was a wretched place beyond saving

that is when you told him that the only way to run this world was to join hands with the elites of this nation- or to become one

it must be the fates that led him to where he is today

after all, isn’t he a king without a crown? a ruler without a throne?

he is a born leader and a strategist. he has always been good with his words

it’s how he earned the favour and graces of the elites and the politicians and made a place for himself- not under them, but beside them

but to stand beside those people, you have to be a little… corrupt. and morally ambiguous

the world is not run by saints, after all

“sweetheart?” he calls when he sees you are distracted

you don’t miss the warning tone in his voice. tonight, you have to be on your toes

you have to seek out willing supporters and show them that they mean the world to hongjoong and his political party

but more importantly… you need to target other politicians, find their weaknesses and if lucky, have some join hands with you

“i’m here,” you tell him and he nods firmly, pressing a kiss to your temple

“i will see you tonight,” he promises, and you know what he means

he always gets such a thrill out of playing the leader

he gets so much energy, and he has to take it out one way or another

and what better way to take it out in the form of lovemaking?

you feel warmth course through your body as he trails his finger down the middle of your chest purposely

he almost smiles maniacally as he leaves first, giving you a moment to gather your wits

you pour yourself a glass of drink- you can’t possibly do this sober

you join hongjoong as he gives his first speech- a very normal talk about how this nation is on the verge of collapse

corruption, crime, inhumanity, dirty politics? you name it

you admire his resilience, really. whatever he is talking about comes straight from his heart, and he has been talking about these issues for a long time now

you also admire his pompousness and the audacity to talk about dirty politics, when he is the face of dirty politics

you join the audience when they clap for him, your heart full of pride

there is a break where he meets with the high-profile people and asks them to consider joining hands with him

‘to make a better world for the future generations’. such inspiring words from such a young political leader

except hongjoong’s trick is that he always, always has something over them

he has a team dedicated specifically for this task- to dig dirt on his political targets so he can wield them like the blade of a guillotine over their heads

despite his evil means to climb the top, somehow, his image and reputation remains far too clean

and that is because he knows to take these actions behind the scenes, away from any eyes

a true politician, he’s been dubbed

it is about midnight when the hall almost empties, leaving only the members of your party and some new faces- people who are willing to hear him out and decide if they want to join his party

you wish you could tell them that it is a trap- hongjoong will promise that their efforts and support will lead them to something great

‘the greater good’, he always says, except these people do not know what they are getting into

they are merely sacrificial lambs, the stepping stones that will lead hongjoong closer to his utopia

they will, for the sake of loyalty, put a blindfold over their eyes. they will hold him in high reverence as he becomes their lord, their saviour

he will feed them copper pellets and claim that this is the best that they can get while he himself sits on a throne made of gold

and when they empty every last drop of whatever they have to offer- their blood, sweat and tears

hongjoong will discard them without remorse. that is who he is- a master manipulator

when you are done wrapping up the event in the deep, dark hours of the night, hongjoong finds you in your bedroom

his chest is heaving with energy that is threatening to combust from within him

he outstretches his hand and you saunter over to him

his hands are dominating when he holds you, though his kiss is soft and unrushed

until that too becomes scalding hot

he is quick to lead you to the couch where you sit on his lap, finding him painfully hard

he groans loudly and starts to unbuckle his pants, and you instantly know what he wants- you always know what he wants

he easily slides his hard length inside your warmth and groans heavily in relief, resting his head back and just letting you both stay still

you only move to rest your head against his shoulder. he can have you like this for as long as he wants

“we have a lot of new supporters tonight,” he begins, chuckling deeply, “the polls seem to be in our favour too.”

his dark curls caress your face as you snuggle against him

“we also managed to score deals with many influential politicians and businessmen tonight,” he tells you and you look at him with pride as he names them

“soon,” he begins, trailing his hands under your dress and squeezing your thighs, “soon… we will have our people in every sector- in business, healthcare, industrial, courts… we will be controlling the nation- we… we are the leaders of this nation.”

his cock twitches inside you as he finishes that sentence and you bite your lips in thought

“what are you thinking, love?” he asks, caressing your face

“i just sometimes wonder,” you begin- can you admit your bare thoughts to him?

he squeezes your thigh as a sign to go ahead

“i wonder how we got here, joong,” you admit, “you know that we are exploiting people-”

“for the greater good-”

“for the greater good, yes,” you finish, nodding and he furrows his brows in concentration

“these people are just like us. we were once slaves of this society, but now we are the leaders. and they are our slaves. but…”

“they will offer us what they have,” hongjoong replies softly, “and we will make the best out of it. isn’t that right?”

you nod. there is no more space for any more questioning

you have never like the darkness in his eyes when you question his- your- methods

all he knows is that he is right

he knows what he is doing is wrong in essence, but it is about the bigger picture- he is doing this for his nation

and you cannot expect to run a nation claiming to be a saint

the nation is run by wolves, and to make space there, you must be some sort of a predator. that is who he has become

his grip on your thighs tighten and he starts to grind your body on him

between the sounds of pleasure is the groan of pain as he spanks your thighs and remind you of your place

“all you have to do is follow me,” he breathes into your ear, trailing his lips across your cheek. “all you have to do is stay with me. together…” he thrusts hard inside you. “together, we will rule the world one day, you and i.”

you nod and he swallows your moans as he kisses you, thrusting with all his might until you both come crashing down

he takes you to the shower and you both quickly clean up and get in bed

as you watch his figure relax and succumb to sleep, you confess to him

“you are a great politician, hongjoong,” you tell him and the corners of his lips curl in a smile. “i’m just afraid of going too far with you. every day, we learn that we can get worse than we are, yet…”

“yet, it has become my addiction and my duty,” he whispers, hand finding your bare arm and caressing it. “don’t you want to rule the world?”

“you will rule the world. i will be treading on your shadow, following you closely and sharpening my teeth… but afraid.”

“afraid of what?”

“of you,” you breathe and he opens one eye

“you won’t leave me, will you?” he asks innocently, yet it is there- the warning in his tone

you are responsible for who he is today. you are an accomplice

every person he ruins to get closer to the top, you are equally responsible for it

“of course not,” you tell him, “i can’t leave you.”

hongjoong notices your choice of words

you can not leave him- you do not have a choice

he holds you close and kisses you like he means it that night

it would be such a shame if he would have to throw you away after all of this, right?

it would truly be such a shame if you are just like the others in the end- weak and helpless

since you know exactly what is going on inside hongjoong’s head, you tell him you love him like you really mean it and you let him hold you close

it may be a trap, but you don’t mind being trapped if this is where you end up every night- in his arms

your lord, your saviour

The Manipulator and the Manipulated

Seonghwa

Jekyll

park seonghwa is a man who is adored wherever he goes

be it at work- at a prestigious university as a neuroscience professor, dr. park, or at social gatherings, formal or informal

he is a man born with the best manners, the most caring and generous heart

you’ve seen him around the department as a masters student and attended a few of his classes

but you never got to interact with him personally until it’s time to choose a thesis supervisor and you learn that you have a chance with him

it’s purely because he’s amazing at what he does

your subfield matches with his specialty so it will be better if he’s your supervisor (and it’s only a bonus that the man is painfully hot so you’ll never be bored)

your professor recommends you to seonghwa and he goes over your synopsis which leaves him intrigued because coincidentally, he’s researching in molecular neuroscience as well

he gladly takes you on because he believes you both will be helping each other along the way

plus, he recognises your name- you’ve always had a different air about you (and he remembers you from somewhere else too)

he’s looking forward to working with you, that’s all

so when you arrive on your first day as his supervisee and research assistant

you catch him in his natural habitat- unaware of his surroundings, humming a tune to himself and swiping his hair hurriedly to the side with the hand that’s holding a clear solution of some sort while struggling not to drop his notes on the table that has a few microscope slides

basically, moments away from a disaster

he spots you and grunts as if asking for help and you immediately drop your bag to rush towards him, only now noticing that somehow, he’s holding his glasses by his teeth

you first take those out of his mouth and he groans in relief. “can you please help me wear my glasses? those cultures are moments away from expiring.”

“oh goodness,” you mutter and you lock eyes with him as you put on his glasses for him

and your intrusive thoughts take over because you simply cannot take how his hair is poking his eyes so you gently brush his hair out of his eyes

for a moment, time is frozen for all sorts of reasons

before seonghwa takes a deep breath and you blink, immediately getting out of his way and holding his notes for him

the notes apparently hold the readings on how much solution he needs to pour so you read it for him and consequently save him from a disaster

as soon as he is done freezing the cultures, he holds the edge of the table to save himself from slumping in relief

and you share a laugh, the ice breaking just like that

he tells you that the student assigned for taking care of the cultures had an emergency and he had to rush from another department

and he thanks you for helping him

you both move to his office to go over your thesis and he helps you create a timeline

you wrap up the meeting with a clear direction of what’s next and with a schedule of shifts where you will be assisting him

it doesn’t take long to get used to being a part of his team of five calm students with a little streak of crazy

and you suppose dr. park has an eye for people like that because you fit right in

you are all very dedicated so he seems to be at ease when you are working, though he does monitor you more closely since you’re new

you start to spend more time in the lab simply because you like how it feels there

it is like a little cocoon where you can tune out the rest of the world and work on your thesis without distractions (plus, it helps how people from your team pop in once in a while to throw some suggestions at you)

you like how it is there- neat and clean

the sound of metal against metal, glass against glass. the smell of the cleaning agent which calms you since it is something familiar now

and then there’s dr. park himself, gentle and composed, yet at times clumsy and rough which results in the room cackling with laughter

however, there’s a side to him that you only see when you’re alone with him

you’re not sure if he’s like that with everyone- he must be, right?

does he pay as much attention to everyone else as you?

perhaps, you’re delusional. that must be it

seonghwa knows you must think that, because he has not been very obvious but he has not been subtle either

it’s just that he remembers you from that time. he remembers seeing your face in his friend wooyoung’s data

wooyoung, who is an expert at singling out people like them

people like seonghwa who have a little streak of crazy in them, yet manage to be a part of the society almost seamlessly

wooyoung’s company does a good job at managing these people because they ultimately help the black market grow

seonghwa is half convinced wooyoung’s company is just a faction of the government but of course he can’t confirm that

all he knows is that he cannot act out too much and get caught

in return, he knows when someone like him is in his radar

here you are, glasses perched on the tip of your nose as you examine different slides under the microscope, muttering to yourself about the readings as your scribble them

he can’t help but notice how you always wear that one specific shade of deep red on your lips or how your hair falls in the most irresistible way in front of your face

he’s never looked at a student this way- ever- but you’re not just a student now, are you?

so when he makes his move, approaching you from behind as silently as he can

he’s not disappointed when you turn- he didn’t make a sound, yet you knew

you’re not even surprised, and that excites seonghwa to no end

��ah, dr. park,” you go casually, as if him sneaking behind you was normal behaviour. “can you approve of these hypotheses?”

seonghwa hums and stands awfully close to you, your sides brushing against each other

he purposely crowds in your personal space as he leans in to confirm the readings of the specimens on the table

“everything’s perfect,” he announces, meeting your eyes

you’re still sitting so you have to look up at him and lord. what a sight he is even from this angle. you could totally get used to it-

“what are you looking at, sweetheart?” seonghwa smirks knowingly

you have to physically struggle to maintain your composure because you are pretty sure you were gawking

“nothing, just zoned out,” you say, which isn’t a lie but not the whole truth either

he knows though. he knows the effect he has on you because he hasn’t been subtle

from the casual touches to the unnecessary (but not undeserved) praise

from the prolonged eye contact to the suggestive smirks

there is something electric between the two of you, an undeniable tension

and while you’re not one who sticks to the rules, you can’t help but wonder just why is dr. park playing with you?

“you sure you’re okay?” seonghwa leans in and searches your eyes for any signs of lies

upon finding none but gaining satisfaction from the way your lips part in surprise, he draws back

you try your best not to make things awkward for the rest of the time you’re with him

and in the following days, his advances only start becoming stronger in nature

you like the attention he gives you. you like how he always puts his hands on your shoulders and gives them a little squeeze whenever he finds you sitting

you like the way his warm breath caresses your cheek when you’re both sitting side by side inspecting a specimen

you enjoy the sound of his gentle voice as he instructs you

it’s almost as if he knows. it’s almost as if he’s asking for it

does he not know that once you become obsessed with something, you’ll try- no, you will possess it at all costs?

so one night when you’re both working at late hours, busy with wrapping up one section of your thesis

you can’t take it when seonghwa scolds you teasingly for being clumsy

“you’ve got pen on your chin,” he says and before you can take care of it, he himself scoots closer-

too close for it to be professional anymore because at this point, he can probably count the freckles on your face too-

and begins to rub at your the skin near your lips gently

he frowns when it doesn’t come off, and then he has the audacity to lick his thumb and rub your skin again

“dr. park,” you mutter, about to remind him how you are supposed to be a teacher and student

you’re not friends (despite the very friendly relationship you have developed with him)

seonghwa only hums and you can’t help but notice how he stifles a smirk as he moves his thumb to your lower lip and swipes it, all the while maintaining eye contact

you raise a brow in challenge, silently questioning why he’s still holding your chin

he leans in as if to kiss you and you stop breathing

except he tilts his head to whisper in your ear

“would you like to attend the next soul society meeting with me, love?”

to say that you freeze is an understatement

you don’t move when his lips caress your cheeks as he stays in that position

you don’t move when he purposely trails his lips along your cheek as he draws back

“what’s your classification?” you manage to ask, your voice barely a whisper

the way seonghwa smirks is something you’ll never forget

“jekyll,” he says. “nice to meet you, hyde.”

there’s a moment of silence where all you can do is stare at the man in front of you

a moment of pure static

as soon as you take off your mask and your lips curl in a smirk, it happens

you don’t know who took the first step but you’re both kissing each other

it’s rushed, passionate and desperate, the air filling with your grins and giggles and you’re only glad you’re not in the lab right now because the way seonghwa clears the table with a swipe of his hand, making the notes fall on the ground

only to lift you up and seat you there so he can kiss you better? being in the lab would have done some damage alright

between kisses, you learn how seonghwa recognised you

you ask him if he lured you here somehow, but he tells you it’s just luck that you’re here as his student right now. you don’t quite believe him though

but you let it be- if he’s jekyll, that means he’s got the brains to scheme

he tells you that he’s glad to have found his hyde because he would prefer someone else to do his dirty work for him

you agree- it’s been far too long since you’ve had an adventure, and you’ve heard about the notorious jekyll in the soul society too. you just never connected the dots

he takes you to his private lab (not before feasting on you and fucking you on that very table)

for the next few weeks, you familiarise yourself with his actual research

mind altering chemicals and drugs, anything to do with control

very illegal stuff, but the soul society funds him with whatever he needs

he can’t believe he found you- you’re perfect for him

seonghwa believes he has morals and he can be a good person

so you make the perfect partner because you can be the bad person in his stead

you’re his alter ego, the voice in his head that he never lets come out

you’re the person who not only matches his freak but helps bring it into manifestation. you are now his face

while he advances in molecular neuroscience in the world, you advance, on his behalf, in the underworld

there’s no blood on your hands- you both only produce drugs. you’re not responsible for what is done with them

you do sometimes assist in the practical work, which seonghwa avoids, because after all, he has a reputation to maintain as dr. park

no one suspects a thing. you’re just supervisor and supervisee who share a similar obsession with research

nothing to worry about

Jekyll and Hyde

Yunho

The Hunter

when you finally got to a blind date that your friend begged you to go to, you didn’t expect to meet a man who would actually catch your eye

there is something about this man, jeong yunho, that instantly pulls you in as if you really are tied by a thread

for starters, he is incredibly handsome and has a soft vibe to him that exudes warmth

his voice has a soothing quality and his mannerisms are as gentle as his gaze. his laugh is pure and he makes quite a good company

he just makes you feel comfortable and safe right away, which is kind of surprising

so when yunho tells you about himself, confirming that he is indeed a corporate lawyer at a well-known firm, you are simply in awe

you thought your friend was bluffing when she told you that she is trying to set you up with a ‘beauty with brains’

she was not lying, is all you can think now

you’re a simple school teacher, you tell yunho with a laugh

however, the man’s eyes are practically twinkling as he hears your stories about school

you’re only telling him because he insisted, and now he can’t stop appreciating your profession, saying that it’s admirable how you are able to connect with children and educate them

the conversation steers to your likes and dislikes, your preferences, and what you’re looking for in a partner

surprisingly, the two of you have a lot in common

you both have a special place in your heart for food. you both love travelling. and there are some things he does not need to say out loud

like how he’s a caring person- always making sure you’re comfortable and your bowl is full, draping his coat over your shoulders when you leave the restaurant and scour the streets for something sweet

the hand that he offers you is not suggestive and you like that (you also like how tall he is and how his hand engulfs yours almost entirely)

just two people who talk about anything and everything- that’s who you become by the end of the night

as you settle in bed later, you’re still smiling about how his eyes twinkled when he learned that you too have a thing for gaming too

you have good feelings about this person so far but there’s a feeling scratching at your heart that has you restless

it is the way his eyes darkened almost dangerously, only momentarily, when you insisted that you could get home on your own

he was a gentleman, no doubt about it, insisting that you could never be too sure these days especially with the news being so horrible lately, the crime rate spiking up dramatically in the past few months

you just did not like the idea of having a stranger accompany you all the way to your home, even if it was this gentleman- this was only your first meeting

so he made you promise to call him and let him know when you get home

and here you are. you dated him for a few months before you both decided to move in together into an apartment that suited your needs

he’s perfect in every way- attentive, responsive, caring, funny, and he gives you space when you need it

which matters the most because you value your personal space a lot

he understands the importance of personal space very well and even though you share a room, you both let each other be

you let him be when he’s gaming, and he lets you be when you’re staring at the ceiling or reading

more often though, he’ll have you sit on his lap as he games

since he’s so much bigger than you, you’ll curl on top of him to read or scroll and he’ll be focused on his game, liking your presence

it doesn’t always lead to something but when it does, it’s always fun

he has you smitten- his kisses still make you feel like it’s your first time sharing a kiss (and he’s damn good at it)

his touch lingers on your skin throughout the day and you cannot wait to be back in his arms again

it is just another night when you decide to walk and take the longer route back home because apparently yunho was going to be late and you did not want to be home alone

it gets quieter as you navigate through the streets and alleys

and when you take a turn and notice a familiar figure, you stop in your tracks

is that… not yunho? the back and the height looks pretty much the same

the man is watching a woman at the end of the street who is using her phone as if waiting for someone

the woman catches the man watching her and grows wary- you can tell even from the distance

you can tell that she is very much pretending to be on call when she starts moving

despite every cell in your body urging you to ignore this and go back home, you start to follow the man when he starts to follow the woman

you are careful to maintain a distance, cursing yourself internally for being a curious little shit who seeks thrill like there’s no tomorrow

but the woman takes a left, and the man takes a right, leaving you standing in the middle of the street, taking a few deep breaths

nothing happened, you think. you turn and start to trace your path back

and just a minute later, there’s an unmistakable sound of a woman’s scream filling the air

every hair on your body rises as your heart drops and eyes widen

you’re frozen in one spot with no idea what to do next- should you go check on the woman? see if it was the same person?

not once do you think of calling the police though

you walk back home, lost in your thoughts with the image of the man’s familiar figure branded in your mind especially since you are pretty damn sure that those were little sunflowers embroidered on the hem of the hoodie

sunflowers that you embroidered on yunho’s hoodie

when you open the door to your apartment, though, you hear the sound of the TV and yunho is sitting very casually on the couch

“ah, you’re home,” he grins and waves, just like he usually does

he’s not wearing the hoodie anymore

“i thought you were gonna be late?” you ask

“you’re late,” he counters. “why did it take you so long to get home?”

“just decided to take a walk,” you smile, ruffling his hair and planting a kiss on the top of his head before going to your room

you grab your clothes and move towards the bathroom to take a shower, and it is then that yunho’s eyes widen

“ah, babe?” he calls, his voice uncharacteristically high

when you don’t answer, he rushes towards the bathroom and finds you standing in the doorway

your eyes are fixed on the sink which is a pale shade of pink with handprints on it

yunho curses himself internally- he rushed to hide his hoodie as soon as he got home, jumped in the shower, spotted the bloody sink from when he first washed his hands and decided to make it look like he had been home for a while before cleaning the sink

only he fucking forgot

it doesn’t look as bad- it’s not a bloody red, for starters

“ah, i forgot to clean that up,” yunho awkwardly laughs, proceeding to move inside and open the tap, taking a sponge and cleaning the edges of the sink

yeah. it does not look that bad

“i accidentally spilled that red ink you have in the room- i don’t know why i got curious and messed with it.”

that’s not the colour of your ink, though, and you know it never leaves stains like these

“don’t worry about it,” you tell him, but your eyes are wider than usual. yunho notices that

he lets you shower in peace, all the while thinking if you suspect something

truth be told, he saw you when you were following him back there which is why he took another turn to mislead you

he also knows you are far too observant for your own good

he can’t lie- one of the reasons he fell for you is because of that. you are just like him

though you are free of sin unlike him, your mind is a mess

you notice too much that is not meant to be noticed. you sometimes say things that even he has not thought about. you question if human morals are an actual thing or a made up construct

is it from reading too much fiction? he thinks not

when you come out of the shower, something possesses you to move to the balcony

and that’s another thing yunho likes about you (which also scares him a little at times)

it is your intuition- which leads you to inspect the little corner where you pile up useless stuff. you can see the sleeve of his hoodie there

you pick it up and find it wet in certain spots

on its black base, you can’t tell what it is, but the sunflowers are stained a suspicious red colour, and it’s definitely not your ink

you look towards your right where yunho is standing, vigilant

there is a moment of silence before you lower the hoodie

“it really was you,” you say, unwavering

your heart is not speeding because you’re scared- it is speeding because you are right

yunho is still, contemplating how to deal with this

did he think he could hide his secret from you forever? no. was he prepared in case he gets caught? no

he just never imagined it would unfold like this

and now… will he have to hurt you if you threaten to expose him? he can’t bear to hurt a hair on your head

you bring out all the good in him. he does not know how you do that, but you make him believe that he can love with all of his heart too, just like any other person

you make him feel whole, and it would be such a shame if things fall apart now

to his surprise, you drop the hoodie back and walk towards him until there’s little distance between the two of you

you hold both of his hands in yours and look at him earnestly

“are you going to tell me what you have been up to?”

yunho is surprised at how calm your voice is and how accepting your eyes are

he sighs deeply before steering you to the couch in the living room

and then he bares his heart to you

he is a monster. that is it. he hurts people and it satisfies this ugly part of him

he does not always want to, he justifies, but sometimes, he just can’t help it

and the only reason he gets away with it is because he is not stupid and carefully chooses his victims- people who are miserable. people who have no one around them

“well then… i’m lucky to have one person in my life, right?”

yunho’s eyes widens at your response

you fulfil the criteria of being his victim- you have no one

you have no one but him- how did that happen?

he thinks back to your first date and he can’t help but feel overwhelmed

he buries his face in the crook of your neck, his head about to explode

why are you not running away from him? why are you caressing his head and holding him close?

you don’t tell him everything right away. you only ask him to trust you

so he trusts you and waits for you

he learns little bits about you- you, who do not care who yunho is, as long as he is transparent with you

you, who has a twisted sense of morality. you, who might be as bad as yunho, even worse

though, your hands are clean, you tell him sarcastically, it’s just your head that is a mess

and it’s a blessing that you two are together and can be honest about this too, right? how lucky you are to have each other

“you, without sin, are like the sun,” he tells you one night as he kisses the top of your head and holds you close

“you, even with sin, are like the sun,” you respond.

The Hunter and His Guide

Yeosang

The Mad Scientist

there is something about the innocent features of his face, the gentleness in his mannerism, the absolute ethereal aura about him

that contrasts strikingly with the pitch black (or maybe, just two shades lighter) of his soul

the man only knows how to scheme and how to take the best possible route towards his goals

the goals are all related to science

sure, he is contributing to the scientific area, doing researches no one else would do

doctor kang yeosang- a scientist and philosopher, held in high reverence in the medical field, contributing with numerous researches centering the human body

nobody needs to know exactly how he gets such extensive, solid results to support his theories

he comes off as a soft-spoken man, someone who possesses a kind heart

he is willing to overwork himself in order to make life easier for others

he is much appreciated by his peers

they don’t need to know that behind his neat and professional setup is a dark, cold space that holds his real workspace

the endless corridors lined with shelves upon shelves of jars

jars containing the human body parts within them

from the brain to the spleen, from the heart to the liver

each jar meticulously lined in an organisation such that only yeosang could close his eyes and know where to pick what he needs

each organ in the jar has a story of the human that it once was- the story that yeosang himself scribes and tucks in the safe (and in a corner of his heart)

taking it out only to read and reminiscence, or to make another addition

such as the one that he is about to make now, sauntering with an almost skipping manner, highlighting his delight in the events about to unfold

his pristine white lab coat flows behind him, a symbol of everything that he would not be doing tonight, which only adds to the irony of it all

he finds you mirroring his expressions, eyes wide with anticipation and lips curled in a stifled smile

and he can’t help but smile wider, the sound of his footsteps echoing loudly as he speeds towards you so that he can finally hold you after the long day he had, tired of playing it cool in front of everyone

you are snaking your arms around his neck immediately as he bends down to capture your lips in a fierce kiss, earning a surprised but pleased yelp from you

you let him have his moment, kissing him back with equal passion until he draws away and rests his forehead against your shoulder

“long day, huh?” you press your lips against his temple. “how did the presentation go?”

the presentation being at a conference of the national medical association where yeosang was the chief guest, awarded for his valuable insights to the medical world

“i sometimes wonder if i’m the only one wearing a mask,” yeosang confesses.

you know what he means

there surely must be others just like him

you can’t expect to make medical advancements while sticking to the stupid laws and regulations they have carved for you

the medical associations do not allow anyone freedom

“it’s tiring to pretend my research was simply a result of my team’s hard work,” yeosang continue, “they didn’t do batshit. i wish i could credit you instead.”

“but you can’t,” you caress his dark locks. “that would certainly raise suspicion since i’m… underqualified.”

well, that’s arguable

you may not be as good as yeosang at what you do but considering that you come from a non-medical background, yeosang would say that you are pretty close

in fact, overqualified

“i don’t think there’s anyone more qualified than you,” yeosang lifts his head to look up at you, eyes scanning your face. “you’re an expert of the human body.”

you are an expert, that is true

you did what you had to do to survive as a young girl who lost her way

you were meant to be a test subject yourself but you created your own path and proved that you were good with your hands- almost artistic

and that you could open up humans as long as you had a good knife

your skills were a bit rusty when yeosang found you in the black market

but he was thoroughly impressed and made an offer. it was an offer that you couldn’t resist

you would no longer be bound to be a slave for the rest of your life

you would be his equal. an accomplice

“but you are the mad scientist. i’m just your unofficial assistant,” you pat his cheek in answer

it’s a wonder that you’re here now, in his arms

a muffled sound interrupts your little moment

you both steer towards the big room and yeosang looks around for a moment to take in the glory of his workplace

the crisp white walls and clean tiles smelling of antiseptic, marred with red stains of blood that is dripping from the man’s limbs

the man who is currently tied to a stretcher in the middle of the room

the instruments and tools that he would be using tonight to open his test subject up are glinting with silver, ready to be used

he has chosen the perfect target- a relatively healthy, middle-aged homeless man

really, no one would care if he went missing

in fact, you were doing him a favour by putting an end to his miserable life, right?

surely, he did not wish to live without a home and the means to survive

though here he was, sedated but struggling nonetheless, as if finally having found the will to live

“ah, he created a mess,” yeosang begins, clicking his tongue in disappointment as he inspects the bruises around the man’s wrists. “i’m sorry you had to wait so long, hmm?”

it’s almost eerie, how yeosang’s voice drips with pity

but that’s what you like about him

he thinks of the greater good. he is doing all of this for the greater good

there is no personal desire to kill random human beings, no

he simply needs test subjects to study the human body, so there can be advancements in the medical world

he just can’t believe that the world does not have a cure or even a prevention for most of the diseases in this age

he has taken it upon himself to contribute to the medical world so people do not have to suffer anymore

he complains about this a lot

if people had guts, they would have done this ages ago

sometimes, he refers to the awful medical experiments done by humankind- especially on women

he is different from them, he claims

he cares about their pain- that is why he makes sure to make his subjects’ death quick and painless before he starts to conduct his experiments

it’s just too bad that he doesn’t have much time after the person passes to study certain functions of a living human

(so sometimes, he makes exceptions and asks god for forgiveness. easy peasy)

you watch yeosang with a sort of wonder and a little something that resembles fear as he caresses the man’s head in farewell

he asks the man to say his last words, to choose them carefully, to take his time and to make peace with the fact that there is no way out

the sedatives seem to have made the man somewhat placid

the test subject stops resisting to lock eyes with the doctor

he says something about the regrets he’s had in his life and how he just wants his misery and pain to end now

yeosang’s brows are furrowed in concentration as he listens to each and every word, nodding along as if he aims to fulfil every desire this man possesses

his hand is gently caressing the man’s head

when the man is done, yeosang tells him that his contribution to medical research won’t be forgotten

he looks at you to find you already staring at him with an unreadable expression

he signals you to get the job done and you inject the medicine meant to stop the man’s heart

you watch the man take his last breath, his face contorting in pain as his heart ceases to function

yeosang has already moved on from the little moment he had, putting on medical gloves and snapping them against his skin rather dramatically

“let’s get to work, shall we?”

you smile in response, following his instructions

soon, you are testing the functioning of the man’s abdominal organs with various equipment and drugs that yeosang has bought from the black market

you have to work quickly before necrosis begins and hinders you

yeosang is very careful with his methods. his hands are steady as if he has done this a thousand times already

and though he comes off as clumsy in the public eye, he is anything but here

his eyes are focused, darting between the electrodes placed on the man’s liver to the readings on the screen

it goes on like this for a while, yet another failed experiment as the liver fails to respond as desired to the electric shock and necrosis takes over

it doesn’t disappoint any of you though

yeosang has a strong vision and no amount of failed experiments is going to stop him

plus, there’s always something you learn even from failure

you begin to clean up when you notice a broken nail lying on the stretcher

you pick it up with tweezers and inspect it- it must have broken when the man was struggling to break free

yeosang catches you looking at the discoloured nail with curiosity and he hums in question

“hair and fingernails are beautiful ornaments.” you ask, “so why do they seem so baleful when they are removed?

yeosang stands beside you, pondering

“the answer is simple. they are previews of what is to come. of death.”

you look at him to find his eyes twinkling with the knowing glint of someone who’s seen it all

after you both finish recording the data of tonight’s session, yeosang is back to being the cute and clumsy person that you absolutely adore

the man is craving chicken after today’s hard work so you fulfil his wish and take him to his favourite place

you both sit across each other, drinking beer and savouring the juicy meat while talking about casual stuff- just an assistant and her boss

just two friends who met by chance and felt an instant pull towards each other

just two lovers, fated to be together and find solace in each other’s company

as if the stars have aligned for you yet again, a familiar face walks in and sits on the table next to you

you meet yeosang’s eyes and you both stifle a smile

it’s one of the potential test subjects you’ve had in your file, due for observation

and what better observation than to sit next to them in a casual setting and eavesdrop naturally?

yeosang raises his beer glass in toast and you share a knowing smile, raising your own glass in toast

just two partners in crime. that’s who you are

The Mad Scientist and his Accomplice

San

Executioner

choi san works hard during the day

he goes to the school and makes sure his students are in top shape

as their p.e. teacher and coach, he has every student’s physical status on his fingertips

he knows their strengths and their weaknesses. he also knows their desires

so if a student is not a good runner but wants to run better, he would never tell them to give up, he would personally coach them and make sure they know that their body is not the limit

they can be a good runner, a good player, a good swimmer- anything

as long as they are steadfast, they can conquer the world

so choi san is loved and respected by the students, known to be a very caring teacher

but choi san works harder at night. no one needs to know that

certainly not his colleagues who always go about how hardworking a teacher he is

when he is free from the school, he goes to his home and changes before driving to his friend’s place- a warehouse where a few of you hang out

someone programmes, another composes, another works out

just an innocent hideout that you’re all using even in your early thirties

except that you also huddle around to read the new request you receive on your app

“i am a twenty-one year old female. two years ago, the man who dated my older sister killed her, but due to lack of evidence, he did not receive the jail time he deserves. he claims that he is innocent, but ever since he got out, he’s been bothering me because he had to serve his short sentence anyway. he is threatening to kill my family and then me if i go to the cops. i am scared to leave the house because he is stalking me and i can always see him wherever i go. please help me. i won’t go to the cops anyway- they didn’t do anything then, and they will not do anything now.”

san is contemplating if he should accept this request

you look at wooyoung who is immediately weighing the pros and the cons

you look back at san who is still deep in thought and you gently rest your hand on his thigh, bringing him out of his head

“i’ll take it,” he mutters. “accept the request, y/n.”

you nod and go back to the computer to accept the request

you have a phone call conversation with the client where you set up a meeting

it’s you and wooyoung who go to meet with the respective parties. san works in the shadows

the next night, san finds you deep in thought outside, leaning against the worn out wall of the warehouse

he joins you, hands in the pockets of his baggy jeans

“i know what you’re thinking,” san begins, glancing at you. “you’ve been awfully quiet since the meeting.”

you shrug in defeat. “i know i can’t change your mind.”

“it’s not going to be the same,” san refers back to the one time you all took a request from a 19 year old girl who was being bullied by her seniors

it got to a dangerous point and had you been a little late, you might have lost the girl

san lost his temper that time, though

and while he couldn’t physically harm the kids who were bullying the girl, he had them locked in a room for one night while he educated them

and funnily enough, san was scarier that night

scarier than every other time he actually wields a weapon

you asked him that night if there were any just people left in this world full of evil

“all people are evil. to believe that you are just, you must believe that someone else is more evil than you”

was his response. safe to say, the girl was living her best life now, but you saw a new side of san that night

a side you had never seen all your life, and that was saying something since you were childhood friends

“we won’t let it get to that point,” san assured, outstretching your hand and you pouted before taking it

he caressed your knuckles, his voice assertive. “i will take care of it. properly. i always do.”

“do you think i only worry about things going wrong?” you finally say out loud, the words that you want to say to him every time he goes out in the field

san, despite himself, breaks into a smile that would seem so out of character to anyone who has not known him for long

“you can’t smile your way out of this,” you sulk further, snatching your hand away and folding your arms

“baby,” san begins, trying to take your hand again but you’re not having any of it

“i’m worried you’ll get hurt. i’m worried about the pain you’re willing to go through so you can lessen the pain of others.”

san stops teasing then, mimicking your position as he leans against the wall next to you

there is a thick silence surrounding you and you wonder what wooyoung is doing inside- is he napping?

“it’s something i have to do. something only i can do. you know that, right?”

“i know,” you say, almost a whisper. “and that’s what makes this more frustrating.”

because it was originally your idea

on a summer night when you were all about to graduate, a tragedy happened in your town

a man went on a spree, killing and wounding multiple women and children for weeks

you, who knew one of the victims personally, were shocked by the act and disgusted at how lazy the police were being

it turned out that the assailant was a high-profile businessman and the police were trying to cover the case up as per the orders of their superiors

the three of you were hanging out in the warehouse, each burdened by their own train of thoughts, until you finally said it out loud

“what if we were some sort of a private service where we help the victims? especially when the police can’t?”

it was wooyoung who agreed first, and san who disagreed

it took him some convincing to finally agree, and you set rules

you were not going to kill anyone- only maim

if it’s a serial killer, you maim their hands so they can never hold a weapon again

if it’s a bully, you maim their mouth so they think before they speak

the three of you are a team, but san is the executioner

wooyoung is his eyes and feet, and you are the brains

so it is ironic how worried you are about san now, when you gave him this role

“i know that i can get hurt,” san begins, taking a deep breath. “but there is no pain as long as i keep my eyes on the balance scale.”

this time, when he outstretches his hand, you take it. he plants a sweet kiss on your knuckles

“don’t worry about me, hmm?” he tugs you closer so you can rest your head against his firm chest as he embraces you. “i can’t focus when you’re so worried.”

“i can’t help it,” you tell him. “you’ll just have to get used to it.”

san lifts your face with his thumb below your chin, his brows furrowed with concentration and worry as he looks at you

his eyes are sharp as he scans you so you smile

immediately, his body relaxes and the corners of his lips curl in a smile as he pecks your lips- once, twice

and it is about to turn into a deeper kiss when wooyoung claps loudly to get your attention

“alright, lovebirds. get inside. we have a heads-up.”

you scowl at wooyoung who smirks in response but you both immediately join the youngest inside

your client has texted to let you know that she’s about to go out so you can stalk her stalker

you and wooyoung take your equipment to the van and san prepares himself

he’ll be observing tonight, but he is prepared in case the stalker catches on

just like that, you observe the stalker for a few days, assuring your client that she is safe

you plan a trap to lure the stalker to an abandoned area where san will have a little chat with the stalker

and when the day comes, all your client has to do is threaten to call the cops on him

he comes after her and that is when san knocks him out with a punch

the stalker finds himself tied to a chair in an empty room when he opens his eyes

there is the stale smell of something resembling death in the room, and that makes the man resist

from the darkness, san emerges, clad in all black, his face covered with a mask

and his favourite weapon, the dagger, in his hand

you and wooyoung are watching from the camera embedded on his coat

you can see the glint of the dagger as he twists it dramatically in his hand

san circles around the man once as if to gauge the room

even through the camera, you can tell how thick the air must be feeling

san meets eyes with the man and removes the tape over his mouth, wincing when the man screams his lungs out in hopes that help would come

there is no help, not for miles

“who are you?” the stalker spits on the ground near san’s feet

san only shuts his eyes in mild annoyance. he is not easily riled up

“you have been found guilty of the crime of stalking. tell me… what should be your sentence?”

the man pales, fresh beads of sweat trickling down his forehead

“it will be better if you admit to your wrongdoings and give me a fair number. you don’t want to leave it in my hands.”

“what do you mean sentence?” the stalker starts struggling fiercely, almost falling off the chair. “i have already served!”

san grins under the mask, closing in like a cat and stomping on his foot, making the man let out a guttural groan of pain

he leans in to whisper in his ear

“but… that was for murder. and unfortunately, i am not charging you for murder tonight. otherwise… you would not have walked out alive.”

the man gulps loudly, meeting eyes with who has to be the person he has heard so much about in prison

most of the people in prison feared this man- the judge, they called him

the man was the judge, jury and executioner for criminals, feared more than the cops or actual prosecutors

“surely… you’re not him, are you?”

you wince at the fear in the stalker’s voice and meet wooyoung’s eyes

san never confirms if he is that. he simply finishes the job right there

the stalker’s screams are heard for quite a distance, even outside your earpieces

you shut your eyes momentarily and when you open, you can see the blood oozing out of the man’s left leg

san is wiping the dagger with the man’s own jacket as he tells him that he will never be able to stalk people again

the man screams and screams, waiting for something more, but nothing else comes

san’s job is done

he tosses a broken piece of glass near the chair for the man to free himself if he wishes to

when san comes back to the van, the air is sombre, just like after every finished request

wooyoung pats his shoulder in acknowledgement and mutters a joke in an attempt to lighten the mood, which works

“they still call you the judge, huh?” wooyoung teases as he drives

“judge, jury, executioner. how scary, choi san.”

san raises a brow at your comment- he can tell what you’re referring to

you’re referring to the first time when he came back covered in blood

and the first time he realised that no matter what he did, you would never be scared of him

and that you and wooyoung would always have his back and guide him

“i think i’m only the executioner. you both are the judge and jury.”

“makes sense,” wooyoung agrees. “but the world does not need to know that.”

Judge, Jury and Executioner

Mingi

The Overseer

“the future, pitch black, upside down”

mingi dips his brush into the onyx ink, finishing writing the words on the big canvas

the canvas that is a splash of colours- red for the blood on his hands. white for the innocence he lost too soon. blue for all those nights he spent trapped with only the moon as his friend

and finally, black for the future. the future is the only uncertainty in his life

despite being a leader of a notorious gang, he can never be certain about his future. there are always people after his life

he cannot trust anyone- not one soul-

“sir,” a voice interrupts and he knows who it is instantly

even if he did not hear your voice, he knows you are the only person who would dare interrupt him in the middle of his private time-

“tea, sir. you’ve been cooped up in here for too long,” you say, placing the mug on the table

-for something as meagre as tea

mingi spares a glance in your direction, noticing how you are still dressed in your usual all-black fit

which means you have not gone to sleep yet, even though it’s well past midnight

“and what are you doing up so late?” he asks as he picks up the cup and sips it, finding it exactly to his liking. a flavour only you can nail

“watching you paint,” you confess without hesitation

because in this place, in this room, between the two of you, there may be truths hidden, but there are no secrets

mingi is amused to hear that though he does his best to hide it

“and what do you think of the painting?” he asks, allowing you to take a closer look

you smile at his permission to inspect his art and you inch closer to the painting, now standing beside your boss

you read the words on it in a whisper and cock your head in thought

“isn’t this too dark, even for you?” you question

mingi shakes his head in amusement and looks down. only you could have made this observation, having been at his side for a solid seven years now

where others would say that his paintings were too ‘colourful’ considering the kind of person he is, you still find them too dark and void of life

you’d know better, because you know mingi inside out

he first found you when he was a street thug in the process of becoming something big

all he had was his raw strength, a strategic brain, a few rusty weapons and some loyal friends

he went on to fight gang after gang, always emerging victorious and merging the losing team with a good deal- it’s how he earned respect around and gained a reputation

every other gang knew not to stand against him unless they wanted to risk losing everything they had

when he first opened his office in the darkest part of the town, he found you purely by chance

you were nearing the end of your teens- a rebellious little girl who cut ties from her family and ran away from home

at that time, you had multiple part-time jobs trying to make ends meet, hoping to find a place to live

and one fateful night, you found yourself in front of a building to deliver chicken, peering up at the light coming from the 4th floor- this must be it

although… you weren’t sure if the loud sounds coming from the floor were just men having a good time or if something had gone really, really wrong

men will be men, you thought, wanting to get the delivery done with so you could move on

only when you reached the 4th floor, you spotted men lying on the ground and clutching their limbs, blood all around

while every sane part of your brain screamed at you to pretend you saw nothing and go back, you recalled how when you received the order, they promised a big tip to the rider

you could not miss that, could you? you had to find a place to live, and you needed every penny

so you started with the men who seemed to be unconscious. you took any cash they had, being careful to hide your face in the hoodie

you moved to the office, hearing a crashing sound and flinching

you made quick work of grabbing more cash from the thugs- they had to be thugs

they all had guns, for fuck’s sake

you went into one of the neater rooms and placed the bags of fried chicken there

and you froze when a burly man made his way inside, wiping blood from the edge of his mouth

“ah… you must be song’s girl, eh?” he snickered, scanning you up and down

“i- i’m delivering chicken,” you pointed at the table. “i’ll be on my way then-”

“not so quick,” his gaze darkened

instinctively, you grabbed the nearest object, which so happened to be a mug and chucked it at the man, successfully hitting his head

he clutched his head in pain and you made a dash outside, bumping into another man

the tall man seemed mostly unscathed save for a bruise on his cheek

he held your wrists to steady you and his eyes darted in the man’s direction who was clutching his head no more

“oi, song!” the burly man called. “teach your girl some manners, will you?”

the man called song pushed you to the side and a gunfight ensued

you took shelter behind a shelf, observing how the taller man successfully shot his every target

when he thought he was done- and was out of bullets, he looked in your direction and tsked loudly

you were about to come out of the shadows when you noticed one of the supposedly unconscious men take aim of song’s head

your eyes widened and almost instinctively, you grabbed a heavy metal object from the shelf and rushed to the man who was targeting your saviour

to say that mingi was surprised to see a young girl save him from his enemy by nearly crushing the man’s skull?

he knew you were something special right away

you both stared at each other for a long time before he told you to go back to his office, lock the door and not come out until he comes back

he was done sooner than you thought, and while his men cleaned his mess, he found you in his room, sitting rather calmly

“so you’re the delivery girl,” he narrowed his eyes

“i hope the chicken is still warm,” you responded. “if you can just pay me so i can leave-”

“why did you do that earlier?” he asked, voice low and rough that sent shivers up your spine

“i don’t know,” you answered truthfully

mingi paid you more than extra that night and told you to come next time they place an order

the next time would turn out to be the last time you would ever work a part-time job

mingi offered you a place in his gang, and you took it

you are still not sure what your position in this gang is though- they smuggle drugs but keep you away from the work, so what are you doing here?

personal assistant? chef? manager? all of these?

sometimes, you are accompanying wooyoung in the field- the gang now has an official base and a few legal businesses

sometimes, you stay in the kitchen with seonghwa and wooyoung to cook

other times, you sit with yunho and hongjoong to plan and offer your opinion on their strategic takes

you aren’t sure if you are qualified for that- you probably aren’t

somehow, though, the gang members respect you for whoever you are

you are the light in their dark life, they joke. you are someone’s friend now, sibling to some, secretkeeper for others

but you still aren’t sure what you are to mingi

whenever you ask him why he took you in, mingi always responds with something different

“you were clever grabbing all that money from our enemies”

“you saved me- though i must say i could have handled it”

“you looked like a lost cat”

“you didn’t report us”- excuses, all of them

truth be told, mingi has no idea what you are to him either

he has a certain fondness for you that he has for no one else. of course, it didn’t happen instantly

he took you in because he realised you had a strategic mind and he could really use that

he insisted the office needed a ‘feminine touch’ even though it came in the form of a cranky teen who wouldn’t stop asking questions

but somehow, the two of you formed an unbreakable bond

he finds solace just being with you in one room, even in complete silence

he loves to hear you talk, even though you mostly question his morals

because he is not a good person, you found out

song mingi is not conventionally good. he is a man of principles, but he does not have the best morals

despite all that, you learned a lot from him. the world is a harsh place, and only he can protect you

he learned a lot from you too. the world is a harsh place, and only you are his safe space

when at times things get stressful, he comes to seek you. he finds you in the shared residence and sits with you

if he is feeling down, you will have him lay his head in your lap. you will caress his head and let him be

if he wants to talk, he will. otherwise, he will watch you for a long time until he falls asleep, unguarded

when he gets tired, he will seek your arms. all he has to do is show up and you will know what to do

you will drop whatever you are doing and spread your arms

it is his home at this point. that’s how things are like

are you in a relationship? you don’t know

all you know is that song mingi is the most important person in your life

it doesn’t matter if he lives life the way he does

it doesn’t affect you anymore- the blood on his hands or the chaos in his mind

it doesn’t bother you because you know his heart, and that is all that matters

so standing in his private space right next to him, inspecting his painting with a critical eye, you tell him that the painting is not him

he tells you to pick a colour and you reach out for a box, making him chuckle

“really?” he asks

“the future may seem black, but…” you begin. “it doesn’t feel so dark when i’m with you.”

mingi takes a deep breath at your words. you always get him like this, and he is not sure if he can restrain himself anymore

your heart aches when you see him curl his fists, a sign that he is holding back some words or an action

“tell me what you’re thinking,” you request, though it registers like a command in the gang leader’s brain

“i’m thinking that i never should have given you this life.”

you shake your head at that- how many times has he voiced out that he wished you had lived a better, normal life, away from the clutches of the underworld?

“no, you’re thinking something else too,” you comment

“i’m thinking that i want you to stay here, with me, forever,” he responds

you nod in approval. “i’m right here. i’m not going anywhere.”

“you could get hurt,” mingi says, taking a step closer and closing the gap between your bodies

“i am a big girl now, mingi,” you laugh, wrapping your arms around his waist and hearing his erratic heartbeat

his arms are still by his sides for a moment before he embraces you

“i’m old now, in fact. how much longer will you keep me waiting?”

mingi grows stiff at your question. so you know

of course you do

mingi cups your face and locks eyes with you

“i won’t break,” you promise

“i know,” he smiles, pecking your forehead. “i’m afraid you will break me.”

your lips curl in a smile and he rests his forehead against yours

“are you sure about your choice?”

“yes,” you breathe. “i want you. i’m yours.”

mingi draws back

“i meant your choice of colour,” he tilts his head in the direction of the painting and the box of paint you picked for him

“of course you did,” you laugh at his attempt to distract you

mingi leans in to close the distance between your lips

it is soft and unrushed. you both have waited for the right moment, the right time for years and everything feels absolutely right at this moment

you go first, asking him to join you in your bedroom and he agrees

he assesses the canvas once again

as a finishing touch, he sprays a final splash of yellow- the colour you picked for him

yellow for hope, for all the light in his dark world

The Overseer and his Shelter

Wooyoung

The Maniac

it has always been a cat and mouse game with you and wooyoung

you chase after each other, running in circles with no start or end

it’s almost as if you both have sworn to keep your eyes glued on each other, watching every move, anticipating what is next

someone’s lips curls up in a failed attempt to restrain a smile- a smile that drips with mischief and mockery

someone else’s eyes glint with threat and promise that this is not over, their fists curled in anger

you chase after each other like cat and mouse

only…you’re not sure who is the cat and who is the mouse

sometimes, it is you chasing after wooyoung

jung wooyoung, the son of one of the richest businessmen in town

a privileged piece of shit who is not right in the mind

a crazy bastard who has made it his life’s mission to not only drive you to the edge of the cliff but to push you and laugh in victory as you fall

he takes advantage of you being a criminal investigator

some people jest that they can’t tell if wooyoung means to ruin your career or lead you to your promotion

with the amount of times wooyoung has gotten himself in trouble (and gotten away with it) he keeps your desk full of cases that you spend most nights investigating

while he keeps your hands full, what frustrates you to no end is that he almost always gets away with his crimes only because of his social standing and his connections

he gets away with petty crimes. he gets away with bloody fights that could very well have him spend one night in the station, cuffed

he gets away with major crimes such as money laundering and tax evasion

no matter how much you try to investigate, you cannot

there are the warnings of your superiors who threaten to fire you because this is not your worry

and even if you do start to investigate, wooyoung’s team is quick to wipe any evidence of said crimes

you’re pretty sure that at this point, he might be hiding a body somewhere in his house

you wouldn’t be surprised. man once set his enemy’s mansion on fire

to make things worse, he got away with it- even when he was the only one grinning and playing with a lighter on his way out

while the others scrambled like mice, he sauntered in style

he gets away with anything

you reputation at the station is already in shambles because of it

they call you his shadow at this point, considering how you are always following him

the truth is, you just want to wipe the shitty grin off his face for once

you want him to suffer defeat when you finally put him behind bars

you want him to chase after you like you chase after him

you might come off as delusional, but you’re half convinced that whatever wooyoung does is on purpose at this point- to get your attention

it wasn’t always like this, you and wooyoung

it started with a simple fight that broke out at a party where all the high-profile people were

someone was stupid enough to call the police- but you were more stupid because you went ahead and handcuffed wooyoung

you told him that you couldn’t waste this opportunity because you were investigating another case related to his father’s company anyway

and he? he laughed out loud like a maniac

you soon learned why, going home with the sound of your superiors scolding you still ringing in your ears

here you are, a few years and a lot of chasing each other later

except… you get something out of the chasing now

all he has to do is corner you. all he has to do is rile you up as he tells you why you lost this game yet again

with his burning gaze and honey voice, he pins you to the spot

with his fingers tracing the curves of your face, he tells you how much he loves you chasing after him

as if he’s all that you ever think about. he might be right

“don’t you think we’re meant for each other?” wooyoung questions almost innocently, licking his lips subconsciously as he trails his finger down the curve of your neck until he reaches the first button of your shirt

“don’t think too highly of yourself, wooyoung,” you respond, your chest rising and falling in controlled breaths

you can not let him know the effect he has on you

however, wooyoung doesn’t need any sort of confirmation

you can try to keep your gaze steel all you want. you can attempt to sound sure and fake indifference, but the fact is that wooyoung knows

all he has to do is take another step forward and fill the gap between you two

his warm breath caresses your face and you gulp despite yourself

he watches you intently and squeezes your neck just a bit, causing you to part your lips for air and then he brushes the tip of his nose against yours

his other hand is slowly but surely unbuckling the belt of your pants and taking it off

you can only thank god in an ashamed relief that you’re in a private space- the space being one of the empty rooms in a random building on a random street because you had been tailing wooyoung

(at least the door is locked)

wooyoung brushes his lips against yours as your pants fall on the ground and pool on your feet

the sound that makes has heat rushing to your face- this should not be happening

you are a fucking detective and wooyoung is your target

but you can’t complain when his fingertips dance along your hip bones

all he has to do is swipe his fingers up your panties

upon finding them soaked (as usual), he smirks and you smack his chest

he catches your fist in his hand, though

“all for me?” he asks

in a matter of seconds, your lips are upon each other, tongues in each other’s mouth as you wrap your legs around him

he picks you up effortlessly and places you on a very dusty table

he gets rid of his clothes all the while kissing you expertly, aiming to please you, dominate you

he sucks on your lips, your neck, anywhere he can get his mouth on

and when he finally takes off all your garments, he has more places he can get his mouth on

“admit it, detective,” he breathes against your clit. “you’re obsessed with me.”

“get to work before i cuff you and fuck your brains out, wooyoung.”

wooyoung’s laugh echoes in the room as he recalls that night- a night he is sure he can never forget

“does that mean i get to experience that again if i stop now?”

you are moments away from your high- how dare he ask if he can stop?

he gets the hint and gets to work, and he makes sure he does a good job, licking and sucking at your clit until you’re screaming

for bonus points, he dives his cock inside right after and stays still as he starts to kiss you eagerly

this time, you’re the one who loses to him and lets him take control

you let him thrust into you. you let him praise you and humiliate you to no end

truth be told, you’re addicted to him. there is no going back from here

wooyoung knows how to use his tongue and he whispers sweet nothings

he is also surprisingly good at aftercare, even though you don’t accept it from him

well, you try not to, but he is insistent

he takes you home and he invites himself in

you go to the shower and he goes to your room to admire the effort you put into bringing him down

loads of files and a board full of his ‘accomplishments’ staring back at him- nothing he doesn’t know

“you think your daddy will help you if i start to investigate the slush fund you have?”

“which one?” is his response, and he grins widely as you gape at him

he can practically see the gears in your head turning and he adores that

it is a cat and mouse game after all. he must give you something so you keep coming after him

(and you must give him something so he keeps finding you too)

while you’re still processing what he just implied, your phone rings

you flinch when you pick it up, getting an earful from your team leader once again, because where were you?

you were supposed to tail wooyoung to confirm that he is meeting up with a notorious gang member who does his dirty work

the case you’re team is on these days is targeting the gang, and yet again… wooyoung is involved

so what the hell were you doing, your superior asks

“jung wooyoung did not meet up with the gang leader,” you say into the phone, your eyes fixed on wooyoung

wooyoung has a shit-eating grin plastered on his face

“and how do you know that? i thought you lost the tail-”

“yes, i did lose the tail,” you bite your lips in thought- you can’t tell your team leader that wooyoung has a strong alibi this time-

but wooyoung goes ahead and snatches your phone from you

“detective lee,” wooyoung greets and you mutter a string of curses under your breath

you watch wooyoung charm his way through the matter

telling the detective that he was in a tight spot because of the gang they are investigating

and how it is a shame that a ‘civilised’ person such as himself is being linked to thugs

he tells him that he almost got attacked but you saved him, and you hid him in an abandoned building, being wise enough not to blow your cover

you can’t tell how he does it, but by the end of the call, your team leader is fully convinced that you did a good job today and he even praises you when you take the phone back

when you end the call, you glare at wooyoung

“what?” he shrugs. “i needed an alibi.”

“is that why you took me to the building to fuck me? because you needed an alibi?”

wooyoung watches you with mild curiosity

“did you think it meant something else?” he asks

it would have hurt if he really meant it, but that’s the thing

you both know he doesn’t mean what he says, especially about whatever is going on between you two

he has risked his position and even his life far too many times just to get you alone and fuck you

so you only smile and shake your head in response before telling him to fuck off and get out of your sight

(and he does. not before a second round)

when he leaves, you watch his car disappear from the window before going to the board and updating everything you got out of him tonight

everything about his business and his crimes. everything to make your case on him stronger

it’s truly a wonder how much you can get out of fucking someone right and you’re positive you can see the end of this case now

though… you’re not sure if you will ever take this to court. but that’s something you’ll worry about later

for now, you will follow him like a cat follows a mouse

and he will chase after you like a cat chases after a mouse

The Maniac and his Shadow

Jongho

The Tyrant

it is always a little too cold in the building for your liking

the building that is choi enterprises, located at the heart of the city, standing tall with numerous floors, laden in luxury

it is a workplace and home to some of the people in this city and a symbol of something untouchable to the others

as you enter the building, accompanied by your secretaries and a guard, you instantly feel the temperature drop despite the warm tones of the interior

the employees that greet you may have smiles on their faces but it’s all an act. you can tell, because you know what a genuine smile looks like

choi enterprises somehow always manages to keep the most calculating people to themselves. it might be why the company has flourished so much in such a short period of time

“to the private elevators, miss,” a man says and you recognise him as one of the ceo’s personal staff

you follow him and tug your jacket closer, wishing you had worn it instead of draping it over your shoulders

you catch your reflection on the golden glossy door of the elevator and straighten, lifting your chin up

you will not be pushed into submission, you repeat for the umpteenth time

however, things are not in your favour this time

in this never ending game of business rivalry, you and choi jongho have never seen eye to eye. you always stand in opposition, defensive or offensive

sometimes, you manage to outsmart him while making a new business deal or scoring a new project. other times, he is a few steps ahead and wins the game

except when you lose, somehow, the loss is much greater and a bit personal

your company always suffers more when you lose, which is why this little meeting you are going to have with jongho is no less than a negotiation- a war, if you must

sometimes, you wonder if jongho has a personal grudge against you. these meaningless battles start to seem like an excuse to see you

if not, then why is jongho looking like he just won the lottery at the sight of you?

“as beautiful as ever,” he says, scanning your figure slowly

you don’t move an inch, pretending those words don’t affect you

the secretaries move to another room, leaving you and jongho alone

jongho gets up from his chair and moves to the middle of the room, motioning you to take a seat

you watch as he pours a drink for you, his muscles flexing through the coat he’s wearing

you take the drink- you need something to calm your nerves

“i suppose the odds are not in your favour, considering you found your way back here”

an allusion to the time he said that you were meant to find your way back here again and again, that you were just a lost kitten and he was your master, controlling you

at that time, you thought he meant to spite you, but time after time, he proved himself right

you always find your way here, always as the opposition. this time, though… you won’t bend

“if the odds are in your favour,” you begin experimentally, downing the drink in one gulp and then pouring one for jongho. “would you like me to join hands with you?”

now this is new- jongho’s eyes slightly widen at your remark

“ah… how the tables have turned,” jongho started to chuckle lowly

you let him be for a moment, scoffing internally

jongho had earned the right title over the years since he stepped up as ceo of his father’s company

a monster of capitalism

known to be the owner of many questionable businesses, borderline illegal, evading taxes and having slush funds unashamedly, heavily involved in money laundering- the list goes on and on

a true financial villain- a true monster, yet… being able to get away with everything, unscathed. that’s who jongho is

he has bribed every soul who would dare go against him. and those who do not take the bribe? he makes sure they kneel

and you… you’re pretty close to being his next target- he did say you would look pretty on your knees for him

“is business not going well?” he asks, faking innocence. he knows

you are a rival company- seo enterprises. everything that jongho’s company is, but… more legal

your forefathers were once partners, and they created their independent companies without a hint of rivalry

they were the definition of true brothers (and partners in crime)

the difference between the values of your company came when you and jongho stepped up as ceo

you had made it your life’s mission for your company to earn a good reputation and moral image, while jongho seemed to have made it his life’s mission to simply conquer the world, no matter what or who the stepping stone is

“business is well,” you narrow your eyes at him. “it’s about the land in ilsan.”

jongho doesn’t seem surprised to hear that. it is always like this- he knows what moves you will make

“ah, the one where we are about to construct a gallery?” jongho asks

“we?” you repeat. “that land is a shared property. why have you not consulted us before going ahead and signing the documents? how could you begin this project without us-”

“the other option is selling it to the government because of the redevelopment project,” jongho leans forward, “and you know how much i despise the government getting their grubby hands on what’s mine”

you know he is right, and he knows that you are not here to argue about why he started this project without telling you

jongho relaxes back, considering all his options before deciding to strike. “you’re worried about your involvement in that project, is that right?”

“well,” you mirror his position, “i would like to keep my reputation clean unlike yours.”

he chuckles at that, proud of his deeds. “yeah, well, that’s going to be hard, sweetheart. that gallery is going to be an optimum location for storing money.”

you know what he means. the gallery is going to display priceless pieces of arts. those pieces are but a means of illegal transactions for the elites

you swallow your anger, taking a deep breath. “i’d like to have my shares back, then. before construction starts.”

“uh…” jongho gets up, fixing his clothes. “you’re going to have to convince me for that.”

“please,” you scoff, but he only shakes his head, ignoring that because he knows this ‘please’ was wholly sarcastic

“try harder,” he smiles mockingly before turning his back to you and moving to the window, putting his hands in the pockets of his pants and staring down at the city

a tyrant- that’s who he is

he expects to get the maximum output out of anything he set his eyes on, no matter the cost- money or lives

you join him by the window, pointing at a few spots. “that’s where people held protests against your company last week,” you tell him. “apparently, you have been exploiting labourers too.”

“that’s what they think,” he spits. “i gave them more than they deserve. they just never learn to accept. they never get pleased.”

you look at jongho- he sounds like he is saying the truth. he has the art of sounding like a victim at times, thus justifying his actions

“doesn’t all that venom in your heart make you dizzy?”

jongho glances at you, his lips threatening to curl into a smile at your words

“doesn’t it get tiring, pretending to be moral?” jongho asks, trying to read your guarded eyes

“there’s no pretending. i never claimed that i was full of morals, mr. choi,” you sigh. “i just wish for my business to have a legal foundation.”

“and it will, you don’t have to worry,” he responds, curling a section of your hair that had been resting on your shoulder in his fingers

you don’t flinch at his touch. you’ve known him since the beginning, and nothing he does fazes you anymore- except when he leans closer experimentally, locking eyes with you and trying to read you

“you will get your shares, but you will have to convince me,” he says, voice barely above a whisper

it is a challenge. it is always a challenge with choi jongho

“why are you so obsessed with me?” you laugh this time, swatting his hand away

he joins, and everything almost seems normal for a moment- just two friends with too many inside jokes, except… it only lasts for a moment

“how can i convince you?” you ask, sombre

“you know what i want from you, y/n,” he replies in a similar tone

he wants a true partnership, except his idea of a partnership is where you bend to his will (and so is yours)

“don’t turn this into a legal battle, jongho,” you warn, “i would hate to summon you to court.”

“don’t turn this into a petty rivalry,” he counters, “you will benefit from this project. you reputation won’t be harmed.”

“i don’t want my name next to yours,” you tell him in all honesty and you think you see hurt flash in his eyes

“that is not possible,” jongho declares. “our companies are not mentioned without each other. we are fated like that, you and i.”

that is true. no one dares to touch the two of you, so you two have always been alone

there is no one you both can trust. there is no one next to you

except the two of you are always together, wherever you go, be it business parties, political dinners, or high-profile events

you can only trust each other, because despite knowing everything about each other’s business, despite being at war with each other

you are always honest with each other- honest about your intentions and purpose

there is no one next to you because you two are always together, leaving no space for someone else

do you hate that? not really. does he hate that? he’s not sure

“you can buy my shares from me,” you start, “or you can shift them elsewhere. i can handle whatever loss comes with that.”

“or… you can let it be and use the revenue for something ‘moral’,” he taunts and silence envelopes the room

“no matter how much you try to maintain a clean image,” he starts, gentler this time, “you cannot undo the damage your forefathers have done to your company, y/n. seo enterprises will always be known as the company that exploited the weak to get to the top.”

you don’t wince at that, though your heart aches to hear that

“just like your company. except you are continuing in their footsteps,” you say

jongho nods, watching how your shoulders are curling inwards

“you are not weak, y/n, stand straight,” he almost scolds, taking you by surprise

you find yourself straightening at his words, confused to see how conflicted he looks

“you are the strongest person i know,” he tells you, and he means it. “i just don’t get why you are atoning for their sins.”

“i don’t know either,” you smile in defeat. “i just am.”

“well, if you ever get tired,” he gently places his hands over your shoulders, “i am here for you. you can lean on me.”

you lock eyes with him, scanning his face. his smile seems genuine

the way he kisses your forehead makes your heart melt

when he embraces you, you lean on him physically

and you almost give in, except…

“i can lean on you, huh?” you say, soaking in the warmth of his body, taking as much as you can before you continue

“so you can end my career, merge our companies and crown yourself king?”

you look up at him, finding him smirking

just like you thought

“not a chance, choi jongho.”

“how can you see right through me every time, y/n?” he laughs loudly as you smack his chest and move towards the sofa to grab your purse

“i’m the only person who knows who you are,” you tell him. “you can own the world, but you will never own me.”

his eyes glint almost dangerously

“challenge accepted,” he says

you mockingly wave goodbye before exiting the room

choi jongho never changes, and neither do you

but somehow… it gets more addicting and electrifying to be with him, to compete with him and to stand with him

even though he is a tyrant, and you are everything that he is not

The Tyrant and His Defiant Ally

#omg glad to hear my moodboard game has gotten better #THANK YOU SO MUCH BABES couldn't have done this without your validations #:'))#loren <33 #ateez x reader #ateez ot8 x reader #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez au #ateez headcanons #fic: ateez as villains

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candlewaxandp0lar0ids · 2 years ago

Note

pls i had to double check the notification to make sure i saw it right because the scream i let out- 😭 you better believe me when i tell you i cried a bit 😤

i love these two so so much and you write them to, dare i say, perfection. i literally cannot imagine them being even slightly different than how you write them....i mean.... you've made them look so natural at every freaking single thing they do or think or act on, it's like they're real people because everything about them is so detailed and in character omg I LOVE THIS (idk if im making sense im so overwhelmed with happiness im giddy 😭)

i missed their dynamic so much and watching jungkook finally getting comfortable enough to trust her on some things is amazing and what's even more amazing is how she is experiencing that shift too.... honestly i feel happy for her when it comes to her feeling comfortable with trying to trust him and even relying on "probably's" as she says because even if that does lower her guard and might not always be the best thing to do in her line of work but i still feel that she's been so hardwired all her life to stay in that hyperaware and cautious state that she's in certain ways just not felt safe enough to truly "breathe" tbh. we know she's always forcing herself to shut down her emotions and surely after that long period of not really "feeling" things, all of these new emotions must make her feel different and uncomfortable in a sense but i truly hope she can find a healthy balance in feeling and honestly accepting those emotions (jungkook better help her with it if she ever needs support tho 😤)

i know i always say this but hector truly is the bestest character everrrrr i love him and he's precious 🥺 i love his dynamic with the oc too and the gentle understanding they have for each other is really like a safe place amidst the entire list of intense interactions among other characters in the story. i could write a thousand words about why i love this story so much and it wouldn't be enough 💗

ohhh and i loved reading the long author's note too! pls feel free to write em as long as you want 😌 i love this story and i feel grateful that you choose to share it with us! that said, you definitely don't need to rush with the story. write at whatever pace you feel comfortable with and i'll be always here to support you (im sure a lot of us will be!)

i haven't been as active here as i used to be during the stay at home days since life has started happening again and im graduating soon too which means im having a very stressful time with the final year project and thesis too just like you mentioned you did but this iicngyp update came as a saviour in these stressful times and for that alone, i will support it till the end. you could say im emotionally attached to this fic 🥺

i said this already but the QUALITY of your writing is unmatched and it just pulls me in with how immersive it is but!! you wrote in the author's note that you feel scared that the chapters or writing won't be as good as earlier or if it'll match but i just wanna tell you that no matter how you write them, i trust that i'll love it. so pls don't feel scared or nervous about us not loving it because im sure we always will!

thank you for writing, ily 🥺 (also sorry for this long ask)

Hiiii, it’s always good to see you in my inbox 😁 and never apologize for long asks, the longer the better truly~

Ah no you make sense and this makes me so happy 😭 I was particularly worried about this chapter and if they’d feel ‘ooc’ (weird thing to say since I’m the one writing them I know) considering the fact that there’s a huge shift happening in their relationship, coming from Jungkook in particular. You’re right though, OC is not quite… there… yet. There are feelings that are starting to bubble to the surface and she essentially keeps shoving them back under. So yeah, it might take a little while until she gets somewhat healthy about it, but she’ll get there!

Hector is such a sweetheart, OC needed someone who’d be on her side and I’m happy with how he turned out and the fact that people like him that much 😁

That’s super sweet of you! I’m not looking to rush the story, but also sadly my productivity just plummeted after Covid and it’s upsetting because there’s a pretty direct link between my mental health and that (if I don’t write I’m less happy, if I’m less happy I don’t write, so it’s quite the vicious circle lol).

Oh gosh I hope your thesis goes well for you!! I know how stressful but I’m sure you’ve got this, don’t forget to take care of yourself during it too 💜

Ah thank you so much again, with this chapter I was actually quite unhappy with the way it turned out until I edited it, and then I was quite happy with it. The first scene (which had been written for months already) was almost entirely rewritten and I think it really helped ‘lift up’ the chapter. I’m very glad you enjoyed it though, makes me feel like my hard work really paid off

Thank you so much for the comment, again, always happy to see you in here and I hope i’ll get to keep reading your thoughts for future chapters as well 😊

#asks #jeonlovescoffee #iicngyp: 8

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youvebeenlivingfictional · 3 years ago

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you know what I want?

A Stalwart Gem: The Movie. I’m tired of getting all the lil community theatre actors in my noggin together to act out the story. I, just once, wanna sit back all lazy-like, and watch it happen on the big screen.

But like…do you have any HCs or Drabble about the scene/a scene where Leto tells Jessica about his feelings for Gem?? Bc that’s one scene I think should be in the film and I’m drafting Stalwart Gem fanfic in my noggin and pls help.

I just think it’d be such an interesting scene because I wonder if they’ve discussed something like this before or if this is the first time, and it’s not like Leto can HIDE anything from her bc of his lil micro expressions of, probably; love and concern and horny, are all over his face. But was it dramatic? Was there an argument? Or was it sweet and understanding? I need to know pls- for the movie I’m about to produce.

Also congratulations on your thesis and good luck on applying for jobs. I don’t know how tf you find time to do all these things and still make us yearn and weep, but you’re amazing.

Danny Danny Danny Danny dear Danny dear sweet lovely Danny I'm so sorry this took me so long to answer!! Also thank you :) My thesis draft turned out v well and the job aplications are chugging along (though they scare me)

And can I just say that the fact that you have such interest in a Stalwart Gem and like...The sequel story form!! I still think about it!! Like it's astounding and I thank you and I adore you.

Okay I wrote, like...1k? that takes place ~the end of part one and into part two?? I hope it's sufficient! (Also it is not beta-read so if there are typos....Soz)

It starts as a sneaking suspicion.

Leto can be subtle at the best of times; his looks and actions can, at times, misdirect. They must, if he is to lead Caladan without showing all of the cards that he keeps so close to his vest.

But with her—with this new-old-arrival, this bright ‘gem’, as he’s called her—there’s something different. His looks linger on her when they’re in conversation; his eye unwittingly seeks her out when she’s nearby, but just out of sight; his lips twitch with a smile at the sound of her voice, the mention of her name.

It’s odd to Jessica—to be on the outside, and not the object of his attention. It’s foreign, and it’s uncomfortable. Jessica feels the pricking of jealousy beneath her fingertips, the lurch of her stomach when he smiles at the girl. But she knows that there’s something there that must set her off, something good. As Thufir Hawat has always told her, it's easier to be terrified by an enemy you admire.

There is something in this Gem that Leto must admire, and it must be beyond her beauty. Jessica has heard whispers from the ladies maids—whispers of nightly walks, and the possession of a kindjal and a sharp tongue. Leto and Jessica came together as a matter of necessity. Jessica doesn’t know if Leto has ever come together with anyone in a blatant matter of desire. It's new for him, something that he ought to have liberty to explore.

But the jealousy prickles, still.

When he returns one night from a walk, hair and coat dampened, a nick in his neck, she can’t help bubbling of questions—but she shuts them tightly behind her lips, watching him change and drop his wet clothes onto the hamper.

“...Where did you go?” She asks, as lightly as she can.

“Just to the river orchards.”

“Mm…” She nods, taking in his pruned skin, his naked form before she adds, “How was she?”

Leto hesitates for a moment before he tugs on a pair of loose pants, tying the chords.

“Shaken. Upset.”

It’s the confirmation she needs—it churns her stomach.

“Is it lasting, you think?” Jessica asks.

“What, specifically?”

“Your fascination.”

Leto turns to face her, eyes sweeping her face, her body, before he asks, “Are you worried?”

“Have I anything to be worried about?”

Leto lowers his head, and she can practically see the wheels turning and ruffling his dark, damp curls.

“Whatever the answer is,” Jessica adds, “Know that it changes nothing for me.”

“I do not believe that,” Leto asserts, meeting her eye again. Jessica purses her lips, considering her next words wisely.

“... You are the father of our son, you know that I care and want only the best for you. This may cause a shift, perhaps, but not a rift.”

Leto takes slow, careful steps toward the bed, lowering himself down to sit in front of Jessica. When he takes hold of her hand, it steadies and excites her as much as it did when they first met. Jessica closes both hands around his, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I do not know if it is…Lasting,” Leto admits softly, eyes flitting to her face. It’s odd to see Leto nervous. She doesn’t rush to fill the silence, and instead gives him the moment or two to gather himself before he goes on:

“What I feel, it is…Different. Different from what I feel for you. You know that you will always have my devotion, my affection—”

“Yes—”

“You gave me our son, you have given me your time, your care…Your love.”

Leto’s eyes hold Jessica’s, but there’s a skittishness there.

“What I feel for her…I cannot describe it in a way that—”

“You will not upset me—”

“I can’t chance that. I won’t.”

Jessica turns her head from him, her jaw working tightly. She hears Leto sigh, sees him bow his head out of the corner of her eye.

“Do you trust me?” Jessica asks after a moment of tense quiet.

“You know I do—”

“Then trust me with this. For the sake of our partnership, trust me with this.”

She doesn’t push into his silence now, either. She knows Leto—knows that he’ll snap if she does, knows that he’ll settle if she doesn’t. This flurry of emotion is new for both of them, but they know one another.

“...I don’t know how much time that I have with her,” Leto finally says, “In the way that I know I have time with you. Until then, I…”

“You want to explore.”

“I do.” It’s said firmly, with his eyes set heavily on her. Jessica gives a slow nod, lowering her eyes to the bedspread and giving Leto’s hand a squeeze.

“Then that is what I want you to do.” She tips her head up and reaches out, thumbing the nick on his neck. “So long as she doesn’t take your head off.”

Leto hisses softly, glancing at the pinprick of blood on her forefinger as she draws her hand away.

“She was upset with you?”

“No…No, with herself. But she’s been in the center of a storm for years now. It seems easier to turn her anger outward...She will learn.”

Jessica hums thoughtfully, looking at the smudge of red on her finger.

“...Would you be terribly upset if I didn’t befriend her?” She asked lightly.

“Of course not,” Leto soothed, rubbing his hand over her thigh.

“I won’t make an enemy, mind, but—”

“I will not begrudge you distance,” Leto fills in. Jessica nods a little, lowering her gaze to her lap. Leto ducks his head, resting his forehead against hers and giving her other hand a squeeze.

“You will always have me. You must know that.”

Jessica can’t help her small smile, and she tips her head, nudging her nose against his. “I do.”

The next time she passes her—his gem—she finds herself slowing and holding her gaze. She sweeps her eyes along the woman’s form, meets her eyes again, and gives her a small nod.

“Come, Paul,” Jessica murmurs, carefully steering her son down the hallway.

This gem may hold Leto’s fascination for some time, but Jessica has his son, his devotion—and he will always come back to that, and to them. Let him hold this interest, this gem, for as long as it lasts.

All that glitters is not gold.

#asks #replies #A Stalwart Gem #Leto Atreides x Jessica #Leto Atreides x Reader

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ppangjae · 2 years ago

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good day, alex. i have some constructive criticism to give you about your latest jaehyun fic.

🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧

🚧 criticism 🚧

🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧

help im sorry ik im not funny and legit the only criticism i have for u is pls mention jaehyuns butt more its cute and hes got a flat ass but we dont need to talk about it

how are u like…godsent with writing??? its like u were..blessed with the power of words and everything u release needs to be framed next to mona lisa. chef!jae concept is not easy but the way u exceeded my expectations and wrote the story so sentimentally?3!2?3?3?? i nearly cried it was so bad for me.

the masterchef arc was also so dear to me bc it was one of my fav shows and its so iconic. also jaehyun remembering yn and seeing her in a different light from what she was used to?? the realization and explanation was so cute. i love how u seamlessly blend portions of the story be it humorous or emotional together so well that the reader doesnt even realize the change of genre until their snot is falling on their phone as they try to read the next line of jaehyun having heart eyes pt 8383838933

sorry this is a mess lol im just thought dumping rn bc ure too good and i could write a whole thesis on this fic and why its the best ever

also i would like to be an anon of urs *blushes* please call me morknon <3333

my heart started beating really fast before i could read the feedback JKSHKFJSHDF but let's get into it!

his flat butt LMFAO skjdhfkjsdhf 😭 it's okay jaehyun we'll work on it

ahhh idk how to react, thank you :') chef!jae was definitely not easy. i started writing five plus one a couple of months ago and it was easy to write the first half but the remaining half of the fic was so hard 😭 it's hard to write the transition of two enemies turning into each other's love interests, which is why it took so long to finish skdjhf. but also, i literally had to watch (and rewatch, over and over again) A LOT of MasterChef videos because although i do know how to cook and i cook meals for myself, it's so hard to actually describe it in actual... words? idk if that made sense skjdfkjsdhf

I HONESTLY LOVE COOKING SHOWS. i went through a whole kitchen nightmares binge -- but i remember trying to look for a chef!jae fic to read here and there were a few but they were mostly short or drabbles AND I FIGURED if there wasn't a long fic about chef!jae, i might as well write it myself 😭 and so here we are LOL

i love how u seamlessly blend portions of the story be it humorous or emotional together so well that the reader doesnt even realize the change of genre until their snot is falling on their phone as they try to read the next line of jaehyun having heart eyes pt 8383838933

fshdfkjhsdkjfhsdf I LOVE doing that. MWAHAHAHAHAH

YES YOU COULD DEFINITELY BE MY ANON AHHHH NICE TO MEET YOU <3

#ask alex #morknon

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rolerei · 4 years ago

Text

wip - fashion au

The next day, while attending a lecture, you couldn't help but still think of Starscourge. So you ended up mostly on your phone during the entire hour, moogling up the fashion brand and its founder, Ardyn Izunia.

Even with only an hour of browsing, you managed to get surprisingly a lot of information. Ardyn Izunia was loved by the media, it seemed, with gossip tabloids and respectful magazines alike having written articles about him.

One article published by the magazine Metrosomnia especially caught your interest. It summarized Ardyn's career path starting from working as a help in Vivienne Westwood's shop in Altissia when he was only 16 years old. He never formally studied fashion design, but learned the trade on the job. His big break came when he single-handedly designed all dresses that the singer Florence Welch wore in her solo debut world tour. The demand that resulted from such publicity paved a way for him to set up his own brand, Starscourge.

You didn't know much about how magazines worked, but you knew that a zero-to-hero story like Ardyn's must have been quite popular among the magazine readers. It inspired hope. Though, by the tone of some tabloid articles, you also got the sense that some people loved the fact that his humble beginnings meant that there was a lot of dirt to dig.

One article wrote that Ardyn was an orphan, having grown up in different foster homes all over Accordo. In another, he lived with his single mother, while his father was a powerful businessman from Insomnia, who had paid Ardyn's mother handsomely to hide the truth about the affair. The latter's article then tried to link the parentage theory with Ardyn's lack of Accordon accent - so you knew better to take the whole story with a grain of salt.

As you were about to move on to another article, the class was dismissed. You packed up your belongings and were about to stand up from your seat when Cindy approached you, wearing a grin so wide that you could see her gleaming white teeth.

"The student admin just got back to me," she announced. "They said I'm allowed to have Mr. Fleuret supervise me, so long as Besithia's name is also on my thesis."

"What?" Your jaw dropped. "Cindy, that's great news!"

"I know!" beamed Cindy. "So I'm gonna see Besithia in his office later today to ask his permission and… yeah. It's… kinda nerve-wracking. Can ya come with me, by any chance? For emotional support?"

You opened your mouth to answer, but a vibration from your phone distracted your attention. You glanced at it and saw that there were incoming text messages from Noctis.

Come to apt asap.

Need help

Pls

When you looked back up to Cindy, you were almost certain that all blood must have drained from your face. You rarely received a text from Noctis, after all. So when he did, it must be for something important… right?

"Sorry, Cindy… but I have to… go… somewhere."

You may have stayed long enough to hear Cindy's reaction. Or you may have not. Either way, you couldn't really remember what she had said as you stormed through half the campus, trying to get to the metro station as fast as you humanly could.

#ffxv #final fantasy xv #fanfic #wip #noctis x reader #noctis lucis caelum #ardyn izunia #cindy aurum #fashion au #uni student reader #insomnia kiss

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rainsongmp3 · 4 years ago

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someday someone will send me an ask and beg for me to explain my thoughts on dean and led zeppelin PLS EXPLAIN thoughts on dean are never too much!!

if i remember this post correctly, we’re engaged now...... i know this took forever but here is like a small portion of my dean x zeppelin essay

dean winchester listening to led zeppelin and loving them to the point where they’re clearly his favorite band says a lot about his character. i think this was a conscious decision made by kripke and the writers. it’s not like the whole vonnegut thing (i could probably talk about that for hours too). the writers really sat down and said dean winchester loves led zeppelin, he relates to their songs, he loves them enough to know almost everything there is to know about this band. it’s not an accident. he says that his favorite song is a tie between ramble on and travelling riverside blues. travelling riverside blues is off zeppelin’s album coda which was released after the band broke up. it’s got songs that they wrote but never made it onto an album. this suggests that dean’s listened to their entire discography which is to be expected. the man knows his zeppelin. there’s that scene where he’s talking to the siren and they’re playing zeppelin trivia and the questions are about who wrote and produced the songs. (which like ya gay but that’s not what this is about.) led zeppelin has so many songs that dean can relate to and connect with. they’re about love and traveling and sex and baby, i have to go and baby, i want to stay. so much of dean is in these songs. ramble on is about being unable to stay in one place and build a life. it’s about feeling the need to leave like your blood is buzzing and you can’t calm down until you’re back on the road. and that is just !! there is a reason ramble on is the zeppnatural thesis. dean also got his music taste from john. he wanted to emulate his father. the car, the leather jacket, the music, the attitude— it’s all dean performing the image of masculinity to be like his father and make his father proud. (the gender of this is insane but we’re not doing gendernatural rn.) but led zeppelin goes beyond this for dean. john and mary fell in love over zeppelin. he has an emotional attachment to it in a positive and loving way. led zeppelin is literally a love language for dean, but it’s also just a language. he uses led zeppelin to communicate to others (the mixtape) and even to himself. led zeppelin is an intentional, purposeful, and telling aspect of dean as a character.

#there will be more to the deanzepp essay #this is just a tease #i felt bad that i was zeppnatural posting and procrastinating this #spn #dean winchester #supernatural #zeppnatural #lex answers

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kikis-writing-world · 4 years ago

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Hello! Congrats on the follower milestone! Could I please request a ship (with the pedro boys minus Ezra pls)? 🥺🥺

I'm a 27 yo phd student in computer science, working on medical imaging and that's something I want to keep on doing when I finish my thesis. I'm a bit of an awkward turtle sometimes, but once I get used to people I'm an open, funny person (at least I think so). My hobbies are drawing, knitting and gaming!

I think I sent my ask too soon, and don't really remember what I wrote! (Which is also very me so use this information however you see fit!) Congrats again on your milestone! Love your writing! Hope you find many muses on your path!

Thank you <3 I can’t get over the idea of you with Marcus Pike. You’re a little awkward and spacey sometimes and he finds that endearing. He always wants to know where your mind trailed off to when you jump from one thought to another. He also would be so proud of how smart you are with the medical imagine, computering, mathing - I checked your profile for more about you lol And this is a man that would proudly wear a home-made, knitted scarf, mittens, hat, sweater, anything you make for him. Anyone comments on them, he’d be so happy to say his girl made them for him. And lazy nights in, the two of you playing silly video games to unwind? Yeah, he could definitely get into that. He probably wasn’t the biggest gamer before you, so you’d have to go easy on him and teach him how to play. Plus we already know he’s an art guy, so he’d love to see your drawings.

Okay I’m not sure where I got this idea, but I love the two of you meeting in a weekly art “class.” Maybe you got the class as a gift for the holidays, and Marcus decides to take it to cure a bit of burnout he’s feeling about art lately. He’s been seeing it too much as work, and he needs to reconnect to what he loves about it. The class runs for a few weeks, and while I’m calling it a class it’s almost more of a workshop. It has all the tools and supplies to make art, and every week there’s a theme that you’re invited to try to fit with but it’s not mandatory - because inspiration strikes however it wants, and who’s going to tell you what to do!

You have an easel set up next to Marcus, and you end up chatting together a little bit. First, he asks to use a colour you have when you’re done with it. When you lean over to pass it along, you compliment him on his work, but he waves off the praise. That’s when he admits he’s used to seeing better art all the time, which leads you to ask about his job. At the end of the class, you once again tell him you like what he made, and he shouldn’t be so hard on himself.

You don’t think about it too much until the next week, when you realize you’re hoping he shows up again and sits next to you again. He does, and the two of you strike up an easy conversation. When you get stuck on your work - it’s not quite going the way you wanted it to - he offers a suggestion, kinda bashfully, on how to help. It works and you thank him for it. At the end of the class, you tell him he should sign his name at the bottom next to yours since he helped so much. This new friendship continues through the next couple of classes.

A few classes later something happens and there’s one less easel. Uh oh! Someone won’t have one, that sucks... but wait, Marcus suggests you two work on something together. He says it’ll be an interesting exercise and probably really fun. By the end of it you’re both an absolute mess, covered in paint and charcoal and whatever other mediums you used, and laughing. The art looks alright, but you love it because of the fun you had making it. You both admit to wanting to keep it, so you suggest shared custody. Marcus writes his number on the back so you can call him to exchange it.

You call a few weeks later to exchange it, and when you show up to dinner with the painting, he’s really flustered. You’re confused why, and he eventually admits that he was hoping you were honestly asking him to dinner. He admits he’s liked getting to know you so far and would like to know more. You’re the flustered one now because you had no idea he liked you, but you agree that you’d like to get to know him more too.

When the two of you eventually move in together, the painting hangs in the living room so you two can see it everyday.

SHIP REQUESTS ARE CURRENTLY CLOSED - thanks everyone!

#66followers #66Followers Celebration #shipping games #computeringturtle #300 Followers Celebration

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nossbean · 4 years ago

Text

so this eve i’m thinking about the last couple of paragraphs of Jaime’s final ASOS chapter (which happen immediately after he gives Brienne Oathkeeper and she promises to find Sansa “For her lady mother’s sake. And for yours.”) And particularly the bolded lines:

Jaime sat alone at the table while the shadows crept across the room. As dusk began to settle, he lit a candle and opened the White Book to his own page. Quill and ink he found in a drawer. Beneath the last line Ser Barristan had entered, he wrote in an awkward hand that might have done credit to a six-year-old being taught his first letters by a maester:

Defeated in the Whispering Wood by the Young Wolf Robb Stark during the War of the Five Kinds. Held captive at Riverrun and ransomed for a promise unfulfilled. Captured again by the Brave Companions, and maimed at the word of Vargo Hoat their captain, losing his sword hand to the blade of Zollo the Fat. Returned safely to King’s Landing by Brienne, the Maid of Tarth.

When he was done, more than three-quarters of his page still remained to be filled between the gold lion on the crimson shield on top and the blank white shield at the bottom. Ser Gerold Hightower had begun his history, and Ser Barristan Selmy had continued it, but the rest Jaime Lannister would need to write for himself. He could write whatever he chose, henceforth.

Whatever he chose...

You have a thesis for Jaime’s arc right there in simple text. It’s a neat bow of the threads of his arc through ASOS and carries through AFFC/ADWD. (Am I resisting making a comment about d&d and reading comprehension? YES. pls be impressed by my self control, thx)

Like. The first thing he does after that thought is do what he deems right: freeing Tyrion. And that means actively defying Cersei, and his father, and the crown. And then he seeks - redemption isn’t quite the right word, but he seeks to make right the story and history about Tysha between he and Tyrion. And you know what? It goes utterly, spectacularly, bombastically wrong. I don’t know if there’s any way it could have gone more wrong, to be honest, even as it ostensibly goes right in that he succeeds in his aims of getting Tyrion safely away. His brother comes to hate him (Jaime thinks), and also reveals to him Cersei’s infidelity, and also that he, Tyrion, killed Joffrey. And then, insult to injury (or maybe the other way around in this case) Tyrion goes and kills their father.

After that it somehow manages to go further to pot in AFFC: innocent guards are killed for his actions and Cersei somehow finds new ways to fear and torment their brother (and/or, as it turns out, other innocent little people throughout Westeros).

And yet, regardless, Jaime is still committed to his new path. For someone so recently disenchanted with (to put it mildly) and disconnected from literally everything, the many deep and varied ways his first* attempt at, hm, betterment (for want of a better word!) went wrong could easily have sent him into a tailspin. But for all he might grumble in his thoughts, he stays the path. For all he grouses about Brienne’s stubbornness, turns out he’s just as stubborn. He gets to choose what he writes damnit! And if that means people mistake his intentions, or that he needs to rely on a reputation he despises to get the right results, so be it! But at the end of the day he’s doing what he thinks is right and writing his own damn story.

(ALSO I do not think it’s coincidence that Jaime works to save Tyrion and also sends Brienne to save Sansa, both for his own sake and also in defiance of Cersei’s wishes, and then one of the things he confesses to Ilyn is his potentially killing Arya on Cersei’s behalf, when referencing AGOT shenanigans. There are some direct lines happening here, even if Jaime’s thoughts aren’t linking them up just yet.)

(*I say first here, though there are various arguments to be made that he’d done things already for the sake of Brienne, and that’s all super legitimate and I agree. I guess what I mean is this is the first thing that happens after he makes that explicit commitment to himself.)

#also i'm enjoying the fact that after Brienne left he just had to like sit for a while and process for so long he lost the daylight #here have some rambling #i don't know if this makes sense it's been ages since i've attempted anything even vaguely meta-y that wasn't basically keyboard smash #and/or trying to work out my feelings via fic #i guess the thought i was having circling the drain a bit #and that undoubtedly others have put more articulately/succinctly #is that jaime’s arc so far presents someone disconnected and disenchanted and walking a shitty path #making dubious choice after morally wrong choice time and again #and then: he determines to stop #and he keeps trying to do what's right #and he does get results: the stuff with tyrion went really badly but the rest (so far) has gone all right #he’s no longer too proud to sacrifice a bit of himself; too aloof to not bother; too walled off to care #that last one is the bottom line i think #jaime has always cared: a lot. and then he tried to stop - or at least significantly narrow the scope #to where it was ‘safe’ to care: his family #only it wasnt safe to care there at all. like. AT ALL.#and his experiences with brienne showed him someone brave enough to care despite herself: and even care for him whilst despising him #and it turns out maybe... he can bear the weight of caring again #maybe... that’s better than the alternative. even when it’s hard. and people still think he’s shit.#and it means turning away from his family. and pulling out all the stops even whilst convincing himself they won’t work #except: bit by bit they do. and maybe... his family was never a harbour but an anchor dragging him back #maybe cersei was never the best part of him but rather enabling the worst #maybe there was something better in this shitty place and maybe he sent the best part of it away and maybe he regrets that #but maybe in the meantime he can try to make the shitty place better in whatever ways he’s able #and then maybe... well. maybe that best part will turn up on his doorstep again and he won’t be ashamed to meet her #i'm doing a re-read can you tell #anyway i still don't think i've got there and undoubtedly i've missed obvious things but here take this!#having feelings about jaime lannister in the nossbean household tonight #honestly it's an important narrative trope that's too rare in media and #jaime lannister deserved better

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bulletproofscales · 6 years ago

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Could u pls do some 2seok where Jin fattens hobi up so much that the poor baby gets stuck in a door or breaks a chair? N he doesn't know how to feel but jinnie comforts him n feeds him n gives him tummy rubs n jst luvs him :(( ♡

—ok so,,, mayhaps,,, i got a little carried away,,,and wrote,,, over 5k words???? IM SORYY I HAVE A THING FOR 2SEOK. I love this request too!! It’s my first time writting a prompt about a character breaking something (that isnt clothing) so i really hope i dont let you down with this one!!–

Seokjin had already adopted their entire life to fit Hoseok’s size. The large size chairs with no arms, changing a wooden bed for a double matress on the floor, wide doors, open spaces. Every measure to make the younger as cozy as possible in the comfort of their own home. But this week, Mrs and Mr. Jung had asked the couple if they could watch over the house as they went on a short vacation; cramped rooms, old chairs, childhood beds. To say Hoseok was frightened would be an understatement.

In his defence, he had every right to be anxious. There had been a drastic change on Hoseok’s frame, and his parents were too very slim individuals. He knew they had asked him and not sister just because she was on a short trip to Japan, he wasn’t the closest with his parents. They were judgmental enough when he was only chubby but now it had been a couple of months since his last visit, and anyone could say he was now properly obese. It wasn’t even an exaggeration at this point. His face had rounded out completely, and neck had disappeared entirely only to be replaced with a thick layer of fat. His chest had grown enough to be considered breasts, sagging down and resting on his enormous belly; which had grown enough to get in Hoseok’s way of normal everyday basics: he had a hard time putting on shoes, most times opting for sandals, put on pants, or well, joggers with extreme difficulty, he couldn’t even see his feet anymore! But it wasn’t a risky guess to say they were probably chubby as well. His stomach took so much space his arms, now flabby and with jiggly wings, couldn’t reach the bottom of it. His overhang so low it took up most space of his crotch; that also had a little separate pouch of fat above it. His love handles were now big enough to connect with the rolls of fat on his back. His legs had grown inwards and outwards, making it harder to walk or move in general. And it was all Kim Seokjin’s fault.

Hoseok was really fit once, lean muscles and sharp angles. In constant fear of dropping people’s expectations of him; that he was going to make it big, the world known dancer he had to become. The pressure was suffocating and soon turned the thing he loved the most, into the biggest toll on his mental health; to the point once he moved out of his parents’ house, the once extroverted cheerful boy isolated himself from not only his hometown friends but also the ones he had quickly made in Seoul. It was shocking to Seokjin when the guy he had not so long ago became his boyfriend, stopped talking to him entirely, even though he was older, he understood the stress of university. But it was summer vacation and there was still no sign of the dancer, of course, he didn’t expect him to burst out crying when he confronted the younger in his own apartment door. Yet with the discovery that this was much more than just stress from studies, Seokjin felt only more motivated to stay and to bring back the joyful man he met when the boy first entered university and their friend group. So he started hanging out more in the younger’s apartment, most days cooking his own meals for two; knowing fully well how more often than not, Hoseok would skip his everyday meals. And to Seokjin’s luck, the dancer not only accepted them but also ate them gleefully. Or at least that’s what the older could say from the now healthy weight he had gained. His ribs aren’t as noticeable and his every angle felt at least a little soter.; hi mood was better too, less anxious and even more confident in his own skin. Not as unsure, but the fun, extroverted and cheerful man he was before. Not only that, but Hoseok had also started to spend less time practicing in the dance studio, and more time at home; which gave the older the perfect opportunity to shower him with love, even though he was letting loose a little, it didn’t mean his incertenties disappeared. So the older would automatically preparee little details for huis boyfriend to see, from a single cupcake next to a post it with an encouraging message on it, or an ice cream after a particularly hard day, or a full on feast of celebration. It was Seokjin’s way of expressing support, especially considering how hard Hoseok wa son his body. For example, there was a feast with all of the dancer, or well, ex-dancer, when he decided to change his major to literature. It wasn’t that Seokjin was against dancing, but it had become such a toxic aspect of his boyfriend’s life, the reason behind all of his insecurities and anxieties. The older couldn’t say he was upset with the change, rather excited by it. Hoseok, of course was still uncertain but not only with Seokjin but with the help of everyone, he learnt to feel comfortable on his current major.

When Hoseok was majoring in dancing composition, all of his boyfriend`s rich foods would burn out throughout the week; however, it just so happened that the literature major did not require half as much movement as his former one. So it wasn’t a surprise to anyone when the younger began to gain weight, barely noticeable at first as Hoseok had the metabolism of a teenager. But that could only keep him fit solong; slowly, and very gradually weight began to settle. Barely noticeable, a soft stomach rounder thighs, but now, it would be the first thing people saw in him when he walked past.

It was hard, even though he was near finishing his major, in a happy relationship., with an amazing group of friends who stood by him; Hoseok still had his doubts about his change in career, especially with the metamorphosis his body had gone through. But with his boyfriends’ help, they adjusted their life till it was hardly noticeable that he was any different to their friends. But that was in their apartment, in Seoul.

“Seokjin I don’t fit through the door.” Hoseok stated mortified in front of the too slim entrance.

“Oh come on, Hobi! No with that attitude you won’t!”

“I am physically unable to go through this door.” He stood rigid as he saw his boyfriend laugh hysterically already inside the house.

“Don’t be ridiculous Seokie! Come I’ll help you in.” The older stood now outside in front of Hoseok, Slim crooked fingers holding fat ones. “Do you wanna try sideways or normal?”

“Lets try sideways.” The younger said waddling till he was no longer facing the door but the house next to them. Seokjin slides his hands from his arms to the very center of the massive expanse of his stomach.

“Ok, now walk slowly, try sucking in once you reach the door.” The older’s calmness was somewhat contagious as Hoseok walked over to the door, his boyfriend was already inside though his hands were still on him, pushing the fat slightly inwards, he would squish and ohs every side that went past the door frame so that he would fit. And just like that, slowly and carefully, Hoseok was inside his childhood home.

“If I have to do that everytime to get in an out of the house I think I’ll just stay in the entire week.” Hoseok groaned instantly finding a chair to sit down, cringing at the loud creak it produced. His breathing was heavy already, he could feel the heat radiating from his most likely red cheeks.

“Then don’t? I mean, you always used to complained how there wasn’t anything to do here anyway. And your parents already left tons of food for us to eat.” He shrugged cheekily “I say we use this week to relax, I know how stressed you’ve been with your thesis on that book..um…?” He gestured vaguely with his large hands.

“Demian” The younger started with a loud exhale of air, feeling the exhaustion from just the name of the novel alone.

“See? You are in need of a break, and you are in luck your amazing boyfriend is going to make sure, you have a good time!” He exclaimed rather dramatically, which earnt a fit of bubbly giggles from the younger. “I’m thinking….”He paused for a moment’s shifting his weight from one long leg to the other. “Movie marathon, blanket fort, and that stew you told me your mom left us.” Hoseok’s heart shaped smiled split his face in half, nodding quickly. And with that his boyfriend left to the living room, probably top build that for the mentioned. The younger would go grab the food and plates, however he had to get up first; a basic day to day thing that had become a difficulty with time. It took a few attempts but he was finally up and waddling his way into the cramped kitchen. It was hard, his ass constantly brushing against the counters, sometimes pushing pots in the process of moving; though he finally was able to not only waddle his way into the living room carrying the huge pot, but also go back for two large sodas and their plates glasses and chopsticks.

His childhood living room was turned into a blanket fortress, which wasn’t surprising knowing it was Seokjin’s specialty. The floor covered with pillows and blankets, making it comfortable to sit on the ground rather than the couch; it was a good call considering how small this couch was in comparison to theirs, Hoseok probably would only be able to fit half of his ass on it. Besides why would he choose the couch when he had his boyfriend already waiting open arms on floor, “The Lion King” ready to play in the tv in front of them, lights already dim and ready. With an adoring smile he wobbled his way into the floor, sitting down with a loud thud and a long exhale of breath; automatically his boyfriend began to serve him a large portion and set on top of his massive stomach. It pulled down enough for his overhang to be completely settled on the floor covering his crotch; which was also being squished between the fat of his thighs which he had to have spread for ther eot be room for his overflowing stomach. He began to eat happily, one hand bringing food into his parted lipos and the other holding him up from behind; though his flabby arm got tired and he had to push himself backwards against the couch, his whole body jiggling violently with the movement.

He finished his serving quite quickly, and his appetite had changed drastically over the last couple of years, so he pushed himself forward to get a second. Though he finished that one at amazing speed too, so he had to move again to get his third; but by the forth serving Hoseok was growing tired of moving forward and back constantly and eye his boyfriend who had an arm over his shoulder and another hand mindlessly on his not yet bloated stomach. All it took was a slight cough from the younger and Seokjin is already bringing the pot near them to serve him his fifth serving of stew. There was nearly half of the pot left, though Hoseok kept up a fast pace until his seventh serving, he was feeling a little full, his stomach hardening on the slightest; yet this isn’t a worry on the younger’s mind as the large kept it’s steady rhythm tracing circles around the expanse of fat. It was on the eight serving where he had to take a break, his breathing reduced to heavy intakes of air; signalling silently for hs boyfriend to bring him one of the bottles of soda, not needing to be told to help him hold it the older did anyways; knowing Hoseok’s arms would only resist so long, long crooked fingers placed firmly on top of chubby ones as the younger gulped down. There was less than half the bottle left, and his stomach had expanded ridiculously almost no fat left to squish; a loud whine made it past his oily lips before the younger could restrain it.

“Aw, Hoseokie, we both know there is still room left.” He left no time for the other to respond as a hand sneaked its way under the tight shirt and began pressing at the sides, massaging the pain away strongly. It took a couple of minutes but the younger finally felt a wave of hunger go through him because of the smell of the stew that is yet to be eaten inside the pot.

“I’m ready.” He stated quietly, though this time he didn’t move to grab Seokjin’s hand with the next serving on it. The older was quick to realize what he had to do, and pressed himself against Hoseok’s side, sinking into the flesh as he brought a mouthful of food into his lazily parted lips. Neither of them were paying attention to the movie anymore, both of them completely absorbed with what was happening. Stuffings weren’t a rare occurrence though every time both Hoseok and Seokjin got completely lost in it; the younger shivered with the feeling of hot stew slipping down his throat easily, warm all over because of their overeating, and Seokjin’s hot breath on his thick neck. A deep brush tainted his cheeks as he panted, poking his eyes open at the lack of food being sent his way, only to be found with an empty pot.

“I think this was meant to last us the entire week.” Seokjin’s says breathless, the younger knew he was excited by this too. They both acknowledged it, though never spoke of it. He felt the same way too, and even though Hoseok did spend a lot of his time eating and Seokjin feeding him; never like this. Not hours of stuffing that left both of them breathless, they both knew the other wanted that, though they never found the time. That was until they were asked to look out for the Jung parents’ house, all alone for an entire week. Maybe this week wouldn’t be so bad.

And he had been right, it was in this week were both lovers discovered the very wonders of feederism; testing the younger’s limits on every meal which had him on a constant state of fullness and laziness. Tonight was their last diner in the house before they had to leave the house. Seokjin was currently out, looking for all of their orders at the various restaurants Hoseok had ordered form. Not so much to their surprise, they had finished all of the food Hoseok’s parents had left them by the lunch of day two; or well at least the younger did. Even though his hometown wasn’t necessarily the biggest, there so many orders that had Hoseok’s stomach rumbling angrily, but there was no food left! Unless…

He swung his gigantic mass forward and back looking for impulse to stand; it took a couple of tries but with a violent speed he stood up. The enormous amount of weight in his middle almost making him fall forward, he was already panting and he could feel his hearts speeding up. It took some moments of recomposure until he began to waddle his way into his parents’ bedroom; if his memory didn’t fail him, his mother had a secret stock of fattening foods for when she was on her diets. He sneaked his fat mass through the slim door into her closet and spread his knees seperate ways to make room for the giant rolls that formed whenever he crouched. and there it was the large ��shoe box” underneath layer wsof clothes that covered it.

Happily he took it, though all this walking had tir4ed him out; he eyed the chair on hispàrents’ desk. It might not be the most comfortable, but he didn’t have the time to clean the crumbs he was going to leave in their bed afterwards, nor the energy to walk back to the living room. So with a sigh, he laid all of his weight aggressively on the weak chair. It creaked loudly but that was a normality now for Hoseok so he proceeded to excitedly open the box. He could start eating now, and when he had more energy go back to the couch, right?

He didn’t exactly know what he was going to find inside the box, though at this point he was willing to eat anything; he actually had a hard time reaching the insides of the box, having to be at a distance from the desk, his stomach getting in the way between him and the food. He let the desk sink into his belly as he reached over the massive chocolate bar and began to eat. His plans of going to the couch being forgotten not only because he got lost on the eating and the feeling of his hunger decreasing gradually; but also the feeling of revenge on his parents. Knowing how much of a pig they would think he is ass overspilling on the chair, gut too fat pushing against the desk, too spoiled to be able to wait less than an hour without food. It was thrilling, knowing how much o a pig he was; he wants to slow down so Seokjin could see him like this when he arrived; but i couldn’t help the speed at which food enters his mouth, he was so hungry. His train of thought had already stopped long ago, the feeling of food settling down at the bottom of his large stomach, in fact he had begin to close his eyes in pleasure, only hearing his heavy breathing and the noise of him biting and swallowing food he didn’t even took the time to recognize. So lost in the feeling, perhaps, too lost, as he couldn’t anticipate the loud crack coming from underneath him. Hoseok didn’t have time to process what had just happened, but the broken pieces of chair sinking into his flabby ass and the fact that he was now sitting on the floor; made it pretty clear. He broke his parents’ chair.

He felt a wave of horror rush through him, the only thought that occupied his mind was “Failure”. He shouldn’t have dropped out of dance, he shouldn’t have gained al this weight; now it was too late, he was just a big fat disappointment to everyone who once knew him; this was probably too much for Seokjin too. What kind of person would want a morbidly obese partner? And like a bad ironic joke to Hoseok, he heard the door open.

“Hobi?” The older called loud voice resonating through the house. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t want the othe to see him like this; so hurriedly and ungracefully he attempted to stand up, he failed at first and fell with a loud thud making the floor vibrate as an aftermath. The learning footsteps only made the younger more determined as he stood up after a large intake of air and waddlñed towards the door, just at the same time as his boyfriend.

“Oh, Seokjinnie, hi.” His voice sounded raspy and out of breath, and he saw Seokjin had rushed to him with the multiple orders still in his hand.

“Are you ok? I heard something cracking…Why are you in your parents`room?” Hoseok wa squick to overcompensate.

“Oh yeah I was feeling a little nostalgic and I know my mom had a box on her wardrobe with photos and stuff though I couldn’t find it, I just ended up knocking stuff over… Haha you know me I can be a little clumsy!!” Hoseok considered himself a good liar, and it had just been proven with the dark look that took over Seokjin. However, he could guess what was coming and after his insecurity break down, the last thing he wanted to do was eat. But if it got him out of his parents’ bedroom, he’d take it.

“Oh, I bet you looked great, your fat ass squished into that tiny little room.” Hoseok’s eyes widen, they had talked about those types of nicknames during the week, and HOseok was actively in favor of them. But Now, all they did was make his stomach twist in a nauseous nature. He let out an exaggerated whine

“Seokjin, can’t we just go and eat in the living room? I’m too hungry to wait.” It wasn’t really a lie, as much self deprecation he felt. He still wasn’t quite full. He tensed in fear as he felt one of his boyfriend’s long fingers brush against the outside of his mouth, cleaning off a stain of dark chocolate.

“Even after you stuffed your face while I was gone, pig?” Hoseok stood rigid, he felt another large hand press against the top of his stomach pushing him further inside slightly. The younger’s lack of answer only encouraged the other to continue. “Maybe I spoiled you too much, huh fatso? You can’t even wait 40 minutes without food in your mouth. And what’s worse is you probably are hungry. It’s never enough for you, just can’t stop gorging yourself into what you are now, a big, fat pig.”

“Airplane!” Hoseok couldn’t hold the scream that left his lips. The use of the safeword instantly making Seokjin’s eyes softened, he didn’t barge the younger with questions, knowing fully well this would only overwhelm him more. Instead he placed a cold hand on his round heated cheek. Though he remained silent, though his nerves urged him to know and with the most gentle voice he could muster he spoke.

“Seokie, you can tell me.” He pleaded silently although he was desperate. The younger was looking down, ashamed, Seokjin’s caring voice being the only thing that motivated him to tell.

“I broke my parents’ chair.” He stated in a quiet voice. “I sat in it and after a couple of minutes it just fell apart” As he went further explaining the situation he could hear his voice wobbling. “A-and now, I just can’t stop thinking about what would they think, and how disappointed they must feel, they hate me enough knowing that I gave up becoming a dancer. B-but I can’t even imagine what they would think if they saw me like this. Fuck, it must be disgusting even for- for you.” He didn’t dare to look at Seokjin’s reaction, fear shaking him to the point of crying. Though he didn’t realize he was doing so until he felt soft touches over his long ago faded cheekbones, he looked up startled.

“Hoseok.” The older’s tone sounded serious, stern even . “I could never disgusted by you. You know how gorgeous I think you are, any weight, any size. I- I wish I would have been here when it happened, made sure you were comfortable. Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” He sounded helpless as his dark eyes searched within Hoseok’s.

“It was embarrassing ok? I was already beginning to think you would be grossed out by me.” He said sounding a lot more comfortable in the situation.

“Well, you thought wrong…And…I get if you don’t want to do the stuffing, though you are still having something for dinner.” The older too was regaining his cheeky demeanor as he spoke. And although what happened had left him feeling self conscious, the idea of Seokjin taking care of him with a sesion didn’t seem that bad; the thought of gentle hands and caring words took over his head as he answered almost automatically.

“No no! Actually, I would really like that.” His words came out desesperante at first and then became shy and embarrassed, though his words caused a wide grin to his boyfriend’s face. He passed all the bag orders into one hand, which honestly seemed to be straining his slim fingers and with the other he extended it fo Hoseok to grab. Holding onto it tightly they walked together through the thin corridors into the living room. The younger sitting with a heavy exhale, the loud creak of the couch brought back memories of what had just happened minutes ago., though luckily, Seokjin wa squickly next to him, all orders splayed out on the coffee table a careful hand caressing his chubby cheek.

“What would you like to start with baby?” His voice was so soft, the older clearly understood what Hoseok needed instead of their ordinary rather more intense stuffings. And Hoseok was grateful for that.

“With the chicken.” The younger’s voice came out equally quiet. ANd no more words were needed as Seokjin reached out onto the table grabbing the dish and bringing mouthfuls into his boyfriend’s lips; their pace was slow and steady. The older’s nose brushing against Hoseok’s flabby cheek, nuzzling closer to his side with each bite. It wasn’t long until he finished the plate, lips oily with grease, though Seokjin didn’t seem to mind as he kissed him sweetly.

“You are doing so good already Hobi. So good for me. How’s your stomach feeling?” Hoseok is only able to answer with a low whine, chubby fingers reaching out to the center of his stomach, where his fingers met Seokjin’s. “No,no. Let me take care of you.” And with a tight squeeze to the younger’s hand, he continued rubbing circles all along the top of the massive dome lightly. Hoseok didn’t feel that full, though it helped to take things slowly and gently. They stayed like that for a couple of minutes, him leaning back relaxing enough to have his eyes closed as Seokjin’s hands found each their way to knead they doughty flesh. Quiet hums escaped his lips under the pressure of the older’s hands. Until they stopped moving, and suddenly he felt a warm breath against his ear. “What next love?” Hoseok peaked his eyes opened and analized what was before him. Avoiding to look at his boyfriend knowing fully well the rosey tinted his face would have under the use of that type of nicknames.

“Pork please.” His voice was cheerful once again, which only gave Seokjin more motivation to reach out and began feeding him, still slowly yet the atmosphere had changed; the air seemed lighter and it had seemed as if the chair incident had been forgotten. The older leaned in to spread light kisses over all of Hoseok’s soft shoulder; which earnt as a result contagious giggles from the other. Though he was quick to shut up when the food was brought to his mouth. This time, a lot more open than when they had first started the stuffing, the younger hummed in approval; could be because of the taste of the food, or because Seokjin’s kisses to his body had become sloppy and slow. The feeling of tightness was taking over Hoisoek’s expanded middle, ever so slightly he whined and took the plate from Seokjin’s hands, earning a confused glance. “I-I’ll go one, but, rub my stomach?” He didn’t sound desperate though, the way his face scrunched up in pleasure once the older began massaging his dome was enough.

“Of course baby, you know how much I love taking care of you. Seeing you treat yourself, eat to your heart’s content; it makes me so happy Seokie.” Long fingers groped gently the large overhang of Hoseok’s stomach, whilst the other hand rubbed circles all over the middle strongly. Warm words encouraged the younger to speed up his pace as he ate his way through the second dish, finishing it quickly. Seokjin’s eyes were on him constantly, looking mesmerized as he saw his boyfriend eat. “What next sweetheart?” There were only two more dishes left before going into desserts, so there wasn’t that much choice.

“Pass me the stake and I’ll eat the burger last.” And instantly he had the dish placed carefully on the top of his large stomach. He began to eat, his pace even quicker than before, a rush of motivation getting to him. Of course his boyfriend noticed, acknowledging HOseok’’s efforts with a tight squeeze to his thick love handles.

“You are finishing them so fast, ‘m so proud. You are doing amazing baby, enjoying yourself to the fullest, well fed; taken care of, that’s what you deserve. “ Gentle words came along with a burger set in front of him. Hoseok was already feeling properly full by now, pace still fast though not as willingly. He bit into the large burger and moaned around it, the flavour of the burger mixing with the way Seokjin’s strong hands roamed and groped all over him, sending him waves of pleasure. The younger’s eyes were half lidded, his breathing has become heavy and a thin layer of sweat covered his entire mass. Though finishing the burger was becoming hard, his stomach had hardened to its majority which lead to a lethargic lazy pace of eating. He counted the bites left for him to finish it, and once he did, he was saddened at the lost of not only Seokjin’s hands over his body but the warmth of his body next to him. The older was bringing the two desserts that they had ordered onto the couch, occupying the space where Seokjin had formerly been sitting; and with that he happily sat on Hoseok’s lap, slim torso pushing against hard dome earning a loud moan from both of them. “Your stomach is so hard, you ate so much, Seokie. You did so well, how about we mix both the ice cream and the cake for you to drink huh? How does that sound?” Seokjin’s voice remained gentle and caring, HOseok keened at the praise nodding desperately at the amazing suggestion. The older stood up and walked the kitchen where the noise of the blender could be heard. Quickly the weight of his tall boyfriend was again on his laps as he handed him the large glass with a straw, holding it with both hands as he drank it easily. The feeling of cold liquid sliding down his throat, made his entire body relax. Seokjin took both of his free hands as an opportunity hands caressing and pressing onto the places he saw impacted Hoseok the most, the younger had his full attention as he saw his expression change when he pressed his side or the top of his stomach. Though he found the sweet post once he saw Hoseok’s face scrunch up when he groped and jiggled strongly the overhang of his massive stomach. With both hands at the bottom, he leaned down and began to spread kisses all over the clothed dome, in between kisses soft caring murmurs made their way past Seokjin’s full lips. “So good Hobi, so good for me. You are so beautiful, so stunning.” Hoseok’s face heated up at the encouraging words, motivating him to finish his dessert even though he felt to his limit. With a big intake of air, he swallowed what was left of his milkshake; he finished and his stomach was throbbing, making him scrunch his face up in pain and not pleasure. Though no words were needed as Seokjin’s expert hands pushed his sides inwards with slight strength, leaning in for his boyfriends chocolate lips, the sweet taste of what he had just eaten taking over his own mouth. Their kiss started quick and chaste but grew sloppy and slow, with the only interventions being the older praise.

“You did amazing Hoseok, I’m so proud of you. My beautiful, boyfriend, did so good, so full and happy just for me…We’ll have to get them a new chair though.”

#annon #request #2seok #bts chubby #bts feederism #bts fat #kim seokjin #jung hoseok #feedee hoseok #feedee hobi #feedee jhope #feeder seokjin #feeder jin #seokseok

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dracosollicitus · 6 years ago

Note

96, 'it was a mistake and I know I can never fix this' hit us with the angst pls

So fun fact, May the Froth Be With You actually originally ended with Poe and Rey breaking up (basically, Poe wasn’t doing well and went in for mandatory hospitalization with Kes’s insistence - he broke up with Rey beforehand though, as he was in a terrible place). This was a scene I deleted from the fic after I re-wrote the ending - part of it just so happens to almost exactly line up with this prompt!

Woot, here we go: (and pls don’t hate me along the way, remember that MTFBWY ends very happily in reality)

Warning for: references to child abuse/violence/cursing/self-loathing/mental health issues (i.e. the warnings from MTFBWY)

Rey bumps into him on the street, almost three weeks After.

He’s walking down the street, arm-in-arm with Kare while Bee trots along at their heels - she’d shown up with her husband after Kes called them during Poe’s hospital stay. She’s gotten him to laugh somehow, a complete miracle, and Poe feels - well, he doesn’t feel okay, but he doesn’t feel awful either. Snap’s waiting for them back at his apartment, probably laden down with enough pizza to feed a small army (Poe isn’t hungry, hasn’t been hungry since before the hospital, his new meds making him queasy and resistant to eating, but he has a feeling Kare’s going to see him eat even if she has to feed him herself). He’s laughing, and Kare loops an arm around his neck, pulling him to kiss him on the cheek affectionately.

Then, he looks up at a strange squeaking noise, and sees Rey Niima. The love of his life, Rey, the one he never said I love you too, the one who got away, the one who he chased away, and every stupid rational reason he had for them not being together vanishes in a puff of smoke in his ridiculous brain.

God, he misses her. He misses her so much. They’re all frozen on the sidewalk, Kare looking nervously between Poe and Rey.

“Rey,” Poe says hoarsely. She looks so beautiful, wearing a pretty dress, her hair up, the necklace he gave her around her neck (and he hates how that makes hope flare in his stomach). Then, he remembers what day it is and groans. She’s going to defend her thesis today. He meant to go. He didn’t think she’d want to see him. Judging by the look on her face, he now knows she really didn’t want to see him.

She nods, neutrality overtaking her expression. “Major.” Rey walks around them, not waiting for an introduction, not stopping to say hi to Bee who had perked up remarkably upon seeing his favorite human; and he turns and stares at her until she disappears into a storefront.

“Is that who I think it was?” Kare asks gently. Poe nods miserably, and Kare leads him towards her car. Poe gets in, and once she starts the ignition, he bursts into horrible, wracking sobs.

Kare doesn’t succeed in calming him down by the time they get to his apartment, Bee sitting on his lap the whole time whining with concern, and Snap doesn’t comment when his wife ushers his sobbing friend through the door, across the apartment, and into his room. He falls asleep to the sound of his friends whisper-fighting in the hallway.

The next day, against all reason, he agrees to Kare’s suggestion that he go and talk to her.

So, he finds himself standing outside the Botanical Sciences building, under the overhang, trying to stay out of the cold, pouring rain. Her office hours let out at 3:00, and it’s 3:05.

Soon enough, she walks through the front doors, wearing a pencil skirt and a pretty blouse, a sweater pulled over her shoulders. Rey freezes when she sees him, and Poe almost immediately regrets agreeing to do this. She must hate him. He hates him.

“Hey,” he clears his throat. “I was uh - in the area, and it started raining, so I thought…maybe you’d want a ride?” It sounds lame even to him.

“I have a ride, thanks,” Rey toys with her lanyard anddoesn’t look at him.

“Okay,” Poe nods. “Okay, but Rey, please, can I justtalk to you?”

“I thought we were done talking,” Rey’s tight-lipped,and he can see the red rimming her eyes. She’s upset, but if she’s this upset,it means she has a reason to be – he hopes it means there’s still a chance,still even the slightest prayer.

“I don’t want to be,” he whispers. The rain poursoutside the awning of the building, and there’s nothing he wants more than topull her in tight to himself. Rey’s staring at him openly now, fear and sadnessand what he thinks, hopes, prays is wistfulness written on her face. He wantsto kiss her. He needs her. He loves her.

God, he never told her.

“Rey,” he starts, but he’s cut off by the sound of acar pulling up to the curb ten feet away. The car doesn’t honk, but Rey quicklyturns her head to look at it.

“That’s my ride,” she laughs nervously. Poe can see aman behind the wheel waving at her, a man that’s certainly not Finn Trooper.

It’s Ben Solo. His world screeches to a halt. Ben Solo’s giving my girlfriend a ride home?That’s my job.

He corrects himself immediately. It isn’t his job, notanymore. Rey Niima isn’t his girlfriend anymore. He made damn sure of that.

“Are you two a thing now?” Poe asks, because fuck he’salways been stupid and can’t get in front of his mouth sometimes.

“I beg your pardon?” Rey’s sharp in a way he’s neverheard her be. He opens his mouth to apologize, but he cuts him off. “That’sreally none of your business, now is it?” She closes her mouth firmly, in anangry line, and walks out into the rain, and Poe’s frozen, watching her leaveagain. Rey’s bristling though, he can see it from where he stands. Sure enough,she spins around to face him, and his heart stutters at the tears in her eyes.

Rey spits, furiously, “You can go on dates withbeautiful women, but I can’t fucking get a ride home from a friend?” She walksforward until she’s in front of him again, and he’s so flustered by herproximity, it takes a second for what she said to sink in.

Date?Poehasn’t been a date since their last one. It was only three weeks ago, God it’s only been three weeks since he waslast whole, since he last held her, of course he hasn’t been on a date.

And then he remembers bumping into Rey on the sidewalkyesterday, remembers Kare hanging on his neck playfully.

“Kare? She’s married, Rey,” He manages to say.

Rey shakes her head against it. “It doesn’t matter. Ifit wasn’t her, it will be someone else. You’ll forget about me, Poe.”

“Never. I could never forget you, Rey.” She’s part ofhis soul now, seared into every molecule of his being.

“I wish you would,” Rey wipes her eyes. “I wish you’dforget me, so I could forget you. Because it hurts, Poe.” It’s killing him,too, he understands, fuck he didn’t think anything could hurt this much, evenafter he’d been so acquainted with so many kinds of pain. “I don’t know whatyou want from me, coming here, what your goal is. You broke my heart, and Ican’t walk around with that forever. Just let it die if you don’t want me, so Ican move on.”

Poe opens his mouth to argue, to beg, to plead, togrovel.

Ben Solo gets out of his car while unfurling anumbrella. The sound breaks their focus, and they turn to look at him.

“Here, let me walk you to the car,” Ben calls out. Hegives Poe a look nothing short of withering, and stalks over to them inseconds. Poe watches, completely dumbfounded as the asshole formerly known asKylo Ren offers his arm to Rey. She takes it and ducks in under his umbrella.“Your carriage awaits, my lady,” he says sarcastically, smirking down at her,and Rey manages a feeble smile back, even though she’s obviously been crying.

Thisis where you lose her, his brain whispers. This is what you did.

“Thanks, Ben.” Rey doesn’t turn to look at Poe whilewalking to Ben’s car.

Ben does turn around, and the look on his face isthunderous. “Leave her alone,” is what Poe thinks he mouths at him.

He stands and watches another man – one that beforetoday he was entirely convinced was more of an asshole than he was – walk awaywith the woman he loves, watches as he opens her door, and waits for her to sitbefore closing it carefully. Ben Solo glares at him one more time beforewalking to his own door. Poe stares at the car as it drives away, and his eyesare trained on the corner it turns for minutes after it leaves his sight.

***

Poe waits until he can’t anymore; so, he waits aboutthree hours. He goes to the apartment Rey shares with Finn and Rose, and hebuzzes the intercom, hand shaking. Bee whines anxiously at his feet, reallyearning his keep as therapy dog today.

“Hello?” It’s Rose. God, he’d been wishing for Finn.

“Hey, Rose,” he says, thumping his head onto the brickwall. “It’s Poe.”

“You got some real fuckin’ nerve coming here,Dameron,” Rose snaps through the buzzer. “I thought I told you to stay the fuckaway.”

“Yeah, yeah you did,” he laughs feebly, rememberingthe vitriolic text he’d gotten the day he and Rey broke up. “Rose, please,please can you tell me if Rey’s okay?”

“Why wouldn’t she be okay?” Rose sounds furious –defensive. “The only person she’s ever slept with shat all over her, didn’ttalk to her for three weeks, and now he’s rubbing his hot new girlfriend in herface. That’s a general recipe for okay-ness, isn’t it?”

Fuck. This again. “That wasn’t my girlfriend,” Poeinsists. This is not the best use of his time, but he can’t help it. He slaps ahand against the wall, feeling it scrape his palm. The pain helps a little bit.“She’s an old buddy from the service. Married to another buddy. But fuck, Rose,I could stand here and say I’m sorry until I’m dead, which I’m more thanwilling to do, but could you please tell me if she’s home safe?”

“Why wouldn’t I be home safe?” Rey Niima’s soft,musical voice comes from a foot behind him. Poe releases the intercom button onsheer reflex and turns to stare at her standing in the doorway to her complex.

Now that she’s not dressed for school or wearingmakeup, he can see just how not-okayRey’s been. There are massive circles under her eyes, and she looks thinnerthan she had a month ago. And she’s – fuck, she’s wearing his Academy sweatshirt,the one he’d lent to her months ago, the one he could have sworn he had lost.Rey’s wearing his old sweatshirt, and she’s swimming in it, her thin armswrapped around her like she’s afraid her organs will fall out with theslightest provocation. Poe’s familiar with the feeling.

“Hey, Sun—” he stops halfway through the nickname whenhe sees her wince. “Hi, Rey.”

“Why are you here?” I was torturing myself with the idea of you on a date with Ben Solo, soI showed up to make sure he wasn’t being a creep because I still desperatelylove you even though I’m a useless asshole, also please find it in yourinfinitely perfect heart to forgive me, and just let me sit at your feet whileyou yell at me, that will be enough, anything you give me will be enough, justplease give me something, anything, I’m drowning without you

“I just wanted to make sure you got home okay,” iswhat he goes with.

“Well, considering I fixed Ben’s car myself, I wouldn’texactly worry about its mechanical integrity.” Rey looks at him coolly.“Anyway, I came down because I was tired of Rose screaming at our buzzer. I’mhere. What do you actually want to talk about?” Bee snuffles towards hereagerly, and bumps up against her knee. Rey smiles at him fondly, but theexpression is gone by the time she looks back up at him.

“I miss you,” Poe tells her. It’s still raining, andhe tries not to focus too much on the percussive waves of precipitation as theyslam down outside this small bubble they’ve created on her front step.

“Don’t,” Rey says warningly. “Just, don’t. Don’t dothis, Poe. Don’t make yourself feel bad because you saw me upset. I don’t needyou to miss me. That doesn’t help.” Her voice cracks on the last word, and hehates himself.

“I can’t stand the fact that I hurt you.” He squeezeshis eyes shut briefly. “I can’t stand the fact that I’m the one who’s makingyou upset. Rey, I was just trying to – to – I don’t even know. I was in a badplace and I said things I really didn’t mean. I’m sorry, and I miss you.” And I love you.

“You don’t have to do this, Poe. I’ll be fine.” Reysays dismissively, and she turns to walk back into the building.

“I don’t want you to be fine,” Poe snaps, angry athimself, the situation, not her. She stops and briefly curls in on herself athis tone, but then she sets her jaw and turns to face him. She stands upstraighter, eyes sparking, but Poe needs to finish. “I don’t want you to justbe fine. I want you to be happy, Iwant you to be loved, I want you to not hate me. I want to make up for howbadly I hurt you.”

“Fuck you,” Rey’s hands are clenched in fists now.“Fuck you, Poe. I am doing my best over here. I am doing my best to give youspace, like you wanted. I am doing my best to get over you. And I can do it.Don’t worry about me. I can shove how I feel about you into a tiny, little boxand cram it down with all the other shitty things in my life. You think youhurt me? You think that you hurting my feelings, that you not wanting me is thestraw that’s going to break the camel’s back?”

Rey yanks the sweatshirt off aggressively, angrily,and throws it at him. He catches it, startled, and stares at her, while herentire body heaves with the beginning of a sob, wearing a thin t-shirt. “Do youknow what these are, Major Dameron?” She points at the dozen or so scarslittered across her arm. “These are cigarette burns. My foster father used meas a fucking ashtray when I pissed him off. And me breathing pissed him off, soyou can imagine how often that happened. Do you know that one time I dropped a tool into a car and broke a valve, and he beat meso badly that I lost consciousness? That he broke four of my ribs stomping onme while I lay there?”

Poe wants to throw up, but she isn’t done. Not closeto being done. “When I was lying in the hospital bed, all I could do was laugh.Because there was finally enough evidence to emancipate myself. I took off,bought the bus ticket that got me the farthest with what I could afford, and Ifinished high school here in Raleigh while working to support myself. And whydid I end up with Unkar Plutt?” Poe, frozen as he is by this confession, stillcatalogues the name, the name of a man he knows he wants to see dead.

“It’s because my father and mother didn’t want me.They left me for fucking dead outside a fire station, in 100 degree weather. I foundthem, you know. I found them two years ago. Wasn’t that hard, not many ‘Rey’s’born in Arizona in 1994. I figured I’d confront them, you know, get to thebottom of why they didn’t want me. Maybe one of them was sick? Maybe it wasdrugs? Maybe they’d been in a car accident?” Rey laughs, hysterically, and Poewants to hold her, wants to tuck her into him, to enfold her into himself so hecan bear the brunt of anything else the universe tries to hurt her with, but hedoubts she wants him to touch her. Not when he’s a part of the list of thingsthat have hurt her. “No. They were fine. I imagine they were having sometrouble back in ‘95, but they’re fine. They own a house, have two kids, a dogeven. Fuck. I flew out there to talk to them, but I got as far as the gatebefore I turned around.” Rey’s getting to the end, and she holds a hand to herchest while she gasps for air.

“I ended up with Plutt because my parents weren’tready for children, or because they weren’t ready for me, or because likeeveryone else they took one fucking look at me and knew I wasn’t what theywanted. I ended up with Plutt because the best man I’ve ever known, Ben Kenobi,died and I wasn’t able to help him. He died in front of me, on my birthday, andall I could do was watch, because everyone who’s ever left me has been right.I’m not worth sticking around for. So no, I don’t hate you Poe. How I feelabout you couldn’t be further from hate. You stuck around longer than mostpeople do. I can’t blame you for finally realizing what everyone else seems to justknow.”

Rey bursts into tears, and when Poe reaches out for her,she waves him away. She sits heavily in the corner of the atrium, and sobsuncontrollably, hands covering her face. Poe kneels in front of her, andswallows.

“It’s all bullshit,” he whispers to her, hoping he canhear him over her sobs. “All of it. The people who hurt you – they did thosethings because they were fucking awful people. It had nothing to do with you.Like, when I hurt you. It had nothing to do with you, Rey. Fuck, I’m crazyabout you. You’re all I can think about, even now, even when I’ve fuckedeverything up, and I know I’ve lost you forever. I panicked is all, and I’d hada really shitty week, and I could barely tie my fucking shoes; I wasn’tfunctional and my brain hurt all the time. I said shit I didn’t mean because Iwas fucking lost in my own head, and I didn’t want you around that. I didn’t want to drag you downinto my shit. But I did anyway because I wasn’t thinking. Christ, Rey, pleaselook at me. Please.”

Rey sniffles and wipes her hands down her face. Shelooks at him, blinking away tears, and he wishes he was allowed to kiss themaway. He needs to touch her, but she hasn’t given him permission, and sheprobably never will again. “Rey, sweetheart, I didn’t want to break up withyou. I didn’t. I have been in physical pain for three weeks over it, but Iconvinced myself it was what you wanted, what was better for you. I would neverwillingly leave you. I didn’t mean to.”

“I don’t know if I can believe you,” she says shakily.Her hands come to her lap, weaving together tightly.

“Then let me prove it to you. Please, let me prove toyou that I never want to leave you again. Please.” Poe’s begging, shamelessly,but he doesn’t give a shit about dignity. Rey’s the only thing that matters.“It was a mistake and I know I can never fix this, but I want to try. I need to try to fix this. Please give me a chance, Rey. I’ll do anything, anything you want, just pleaseat least talk to me again.”

“Okay,” Rey whispers, staring at her locked fingers.

Poe ducks slightly, trying to catch her eyes. “Whatwas that?”

“Okay, I’ll give you another chance,” Rey says itlouder this time.

“Really?” Poe laughs, exhausted, thrilled. “You’dreally do that?”

“Take me on a date, Major Dameron.” It’s an order, onethat he can’t wait to follow.

“Yes, of course, definitely, yes – uh, do you want togo now? We could – “ Rey laughs tearfully.

“Not right this second, Poe.” She stands and hewatches her rise, mesmerized as always. “I need to shower, and eat dinner, andprobably explain to a very short, very angry woman why I did the one thing shetold me not to do.”

“Rose really hates me now, huh?” It’s no less than hedeserves.

“She doesn’t hate you. She just got tired of hearingme cry through the wall for the last twenty days.” Rey shrugs, and Poe rises to his feet unconsciously.

“Baby,” he says, heartbroken.

“No,” Rey shakes her head. “No, don’t apologize. Let’sjust – let’s just agree to talk more? About shit that we’re going through? Ican’t go through another three weeks like this, Poe. I won’t be able to takeit.”

“Never,” Poe promises. “I will never leave you again.I’m so sorry that I left you.”

“You did leave, yeah. But you came back,” Rey says,half-smiling. “No one ever has before.”

“Sweetheart,” Poe swallows. “I know it’s up to you,but you gotta know. I might actually die if I can’t hold you right now.” Reysteps closer to him, and he opens his arms to her. Rey slots herself into thespace he’s made, slips right back in like she never left, and Poe buries hisface in her neck, breathing, finally breathing, for the first time in threeweeks.

“I’m never going to leave you again,” he swears.“Never, sweetheart.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Poe,” Rey scoldshim, but she sounds lighter.

Poe knows. He knows he’ll die before breaking thispromise. He’ll never leave her again.

#damerey #jedipilot #may the froth be with you #ask #angst prompt #deleted scene from old fic #fic #writing #one shot #tw: abuse #tw: mental health #tw: hospitalization

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